Factionless Bound
by erecon
Summary: Society is divided into five factions, each dedicated to their own set of values and principles. At 16 everyone must select the faction to which they will devote the rest of their lives. For Matthew the decision is between his family and being where he truly belongs. One choice can define you. One choice can transform you. One choice can destroy you. (prucan. M for violence)
1. Chapter 1: Abnegation

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

There will be various other pairings mentioned (or at least hinted about). This is loosely based on the Divergent book series as it encompasses more novel elements that the films. Though the setting is the same as the book, the characters are not meant to represent anyone from the book. Keep that in mind, alright.

Disclaimer: I *obviously* don't own Hetalia or the Divergent Trilogy.

Without further ado, here you go!

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><p>Matthew let out a soft sigh, weaving his way carefully down the cracked and broken street of his faction. The Abnegation, known for their selflessness, were supposed to care more for others than themselves. As such they had put all their resources into fixing the roads starting at the centre of the city and working out. The materials had run scarce long before the streets they walked upon daily could be repaired. The roads were heavily damaged, too dangerous to drive on, but not a single Abnegation family owned a vehicle, so they paid no mind to the small inconvenience. Mindful of the cracks, Matthew chose his footing carefully, balancing the bag of clothing in his hands so he didn't drop it.<p>

He reached bus stop in record time. The road split off two ways, one towards the centre of the city, where he travelled daily for school, and the other led down a separate street heading farther from the centre of the city towards the dingy broken areas. Casting one longing glance back in the direction of his home, Matthew headed down the road he rarely ventured alone.

Matthew thought he was good for Abnegation, being selfless and putting others before himself. He didn't always have the want or need to help others, it came more as a second nature to him now, something he had been conditioned to do. Regardless, handing out food and clothing to the factionless was one of his least favourite chores. He did it though, with no complaints or whining. But usually never alone. His mother had always come with him or had a group do deliveries, and they'd just drop things off and be on their way. But today his father had instructed Matthew to go alone, to get used to how things would be after the choosing ceremony, after he chose Abnegation.

An unpleasant feeling welled up inside Matthew when he thought of his father's words. "After you chose Abnegation, you'll be making the trip without your mother more often than with. You should get used to it before then." The problem wasn't just facing the factionless alone, he figured he could hold his own against someone (and if not, he was a pretty fast runner, he comforted himself). No, the problem was that Matthew didn't know if Abnegation was right for him. He longed to enjoy the things the other factions had but that, Matthew knew from the Abnegation teachings, was him being selfish.

Matthew looked around at the surrounding buildings, barely able to stand on their own after years of neglect, and took a deep breath. There were a few factionless people wandering about and after a moment, a woman he recognized from helping out his mother before came striding slowly over to him. Cautiously, he smiled at her and adjusted the bag to free one arm so he could wave. She didn't wave back but inclined her head towards him in acknowledgement.

"Good evening," Matthew said when she stood closer to him. She didn't respond so he offered the bag to her, "I brought some clothing for, uh... Well, who-whoever."

She slowly took the bag from him and set it down before fixing her eyes on him and giving him a once over. "Ain't the Choosin' Ceremony comin' up soon?" She inquired.

Matthew felt the same dread welling up inside him at the mere mention of it, his smile dropped and he nodded his head.

She gave him a small smirk and raised an eyebrow, "what? Not excited? Are you gonna switch factions, Stiff?"

Stiff was a nickname given to the Abnegation from Candor (the honest) and it was not meant as a term of endearment.

"I don't know." He said lamely.

"Oooh, better make up your mind soon. Thanks for the clothes, Stiff." With that she turned on her heel and leisurely strolled away.

Matthew all but ran back towards his faction's area, wanting nothing more than to go home and talk to his older brother. Alfred had been born in January and 10 months later, Matthew. They were in the same year at school and were both going to have to pick what faction they belonged in. Matthew had spent many evenings in Alfred's room discussing this with him. Alfred didn't want them to be separated and neither did Matthew. They had agreed to choose the same faction no matter what. Whether it be Abnegation or not, they would stick together. The topic of leaving home had always been sensitive, neither of them wanted to think of or discuss what their parents might say if they heard they were considering leaving.

Matthew dreaded thinking about it because at the ceremony everyone would be arranged in alphabetical order and then they called the names in reverse. That meant Matthew would pick before Alfred, who had sworn no matter what his aptitude results were, he was going to pick whatever Matthew picked.

Matthew heaved another sigh as he turned onto his street, his home coming into view. Tomorrow they would take an aptitude test which would tell them the faction they suited the most. And the next day would be the Choosing Ceremony. The day where he had to pick whether he and his brother stayed in Abnegation with their parents or left. He had to pick the fate of not just himself, but his brother as well.

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><p><strong>AUTHOR'S NOTE:<strong>

(4/13/15) Chapter revised and edited. Minimal changes made, nothing that affects the storyline.

The story gets better, I promise.

I'll see you next time. Goodnight!


	2. Chapter 2: Aptitude Test

Matthew watched as his mother trimmed Alfred's hair. His brother sat on a wooden stool in front of the only mirror in their home. Year round it was covered by a painting and was only uncovered on the second day of every third month, when their faction allowed them to look in it. The Abnegation considered it vain and self-indulgent to worry about appearances. Vanity was frowned upon.

Matthew leaned against the door frame watching quietly.

It was uniform style for the Abnegation women to have longer hair that they twisted up into a bun or a braid, while the men had their's cut short and the sides shaved to a respectable length. Nothing that would draw attention to them or anything to accentuate their looks.

Considering what a life changing year it was, their mother had let the boys keep their hair however they wanted it, so long as it was brushed and presentable. Alfred's hair was a bit shaggy, at the length where it had a mind of it's own. One particular piece in the front stuck up in the most stubborn cow-lick. Matthew's own hair was longer then Alfred's, coming down to his jaw. He had been surprised to find out that when it grew out his hair was curly. His face was now framed in soft curls that his mother said made him look like an angel.

Matthew watched little snippets of blond hair fall to the ground. Everyone in his family was blond. Alfred and his father had a golden wheat colour while his mother had light hair. His own was a delicate mix between the two; a pleasant golden honey colour.

Alfred's eyes drifted away from his reflection in the mirror over to where Matthew stood. Matthew watched his older brother regard him for a few seconds before twisting his regularly handsome face into a hilariously unflattering one, keeping it in place until Matthew started to laugh.

"Alfred, stop making faces at your brother and sit still please. I don't want to trim it uneven." Their mother said sternly, though they could hear the smile and playful edge to her words. "Matthew, why don't you go have some early breakfast? You barely ate last night."

Matthew shook his head, "I'm not hungry."

His Mom stopped cutting Alfred's hair and set her hand on his shoulder, looking seriously over at Matthew's reflection.

"My stomach hurts." He explained, placing his hand over his stomach for added affect. His mother's gazed softened and she smiled warmly at him before returning to Alfred's hair.

"Are you nervous, honey?"

"A bit." His voice came out softer than he had meant for it to.

* * *

><p>Matthew and Alfred walked side by side to the the bus stop. Alfred was humming a simple tune like he always did and Matthew found a bit of comfort in the routine. He felt better knowing that his brother was his usual self and not plagued with anxiety about the test.<p>

Alfred continued humming until the bus came into sight. He stopped abruptly and stood up straight. Abnegation were supposed to be seen as serious at all times.

Once the bus stopped the two climbed on board, Alfred first with Matthew at his heels. There was one seat left and Alfred didn't hesitate to gesture for Matthew to take it. He stood in front of Matthew's seat and held the safety bar poised just above his head for balance.

Matthew looked up at Alfred, envious of his brother's stature. At 16 Alfred had already grown to being just a few inches shy of their father, while Matthew was just a touch above his brother's shoulders in height. Their mother often joked that Alfred had hit all his growth spurts and some of Matthew's too. Along with height, Alfred had been blessed with natural muscle tone and much to Matthew's chagrin, he seemed quite the opposite, being thin and slender and _delicate_. Where Alfred had muscle definition, Matthew had soft skin that was drastically pale in comparison to his brother's natural tan. Alfred was just like their father. These things just happened naturally for them.

And Matthew was envious.

He had wanted to gain muscle but running and exercising for one's personal pleasure or aesthetic reasons wasn't allowed in Abnegation, so Matthew had settled, albeit discontentedly, with himself. His appearance wasn't something he could change so he dealt with the times in which he had been called girly or feminine with practised patience. One particularly embarrassing time, Matthew recalled from memory, his lower-levels Faction History teacher had called him "little girl". It had been an honest mistake and a slip of the tongue, but Matthew had sat there red faced while the rest of the class, save for the other Abnegation students, had laughed loudly.

Pulled from his thoughts as the bus came to a stop, Matthew climbed off after Alfred. They entered the school together and moved around to Alfred's locker.

They kept all their things together in one locker to save space for others who might need it more. Once they gathered their necessary books Alfred turned to smile at Matthew.

"So I guess I'll see you in the cafeteria then?" He asked, his eyes eagerly watching the window on the other side of the hall.

Matthew nodded. "Yeah. I'll see you there later. Have a good day, Alfred."

Alfred gave Matthew a quick grin and said, "See ya later, little brother!" Before he quickly waltzed away from Matthew, towards the window.

Matthew watched his brother stare out the window for a moment before heading to his Math class, wondering why Alfred enjoyed watching the Dauntless students jump off the train so much. It seemed scarily unnecessary that the Dauntless' main mode of transportation was jumping on and off moving trains. Matthew tried not to be judgemental, to keep an open mind. Every faction was different. Different styles, different lives, different values.

Matthew slipped into his class unnoticed and took his seat beside an Erudite boy who never failed to make him feel intellectually inferior every time he opened his mouth, though he never mentioned it to avoid conflict. Matthew glanced around the small classroom, at the faces of the students already in the room. He wouldn't see much more of them. Classes that day were all cut in half and the aptitude tests began at lunch in the cafeteria.

Matthew took a deep breath, trying hard to fend off the lingering anxiety. He cracked open his text book to the page his teacher instructed and tried to lose himself in his studies.

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><p>Matthew's fingers ran over the hem of his gray jacket sleeves, which were just a bit too long for him. Though so were the pants, hand-me-downs from Alfred.<p>

The cafeteria was packed with chattering 16 year old's and Matthew let his eyes drift to the sea of colour blocks, invisible barriers keeping each one in section. The Dauntless, loud and full of shouting voices, were dressed almost completely in black near the back of the room. Occasional glints from their jewellery caught Matthew's attention. The Candor, off to the side, in black slacks with white shirts, were debating something in hushed tones. Matthew figured it was friendly based on the smiling, laughing faces. The Erudite, sitting opposite them, were wearing blue sweaters and shirts and talking about things Matthew didn't know about using words Matthew didn't understand. The Amity were sitting close by, a small pattern of red and yellow. The boys all chatted happily while the girls sat together singing a song with rhyming words. The Amity always seemed so happy and relaxed.

And then there were the Abnegation, where Matthew sat. A bland spot of gray completely quiet, save for the occasional whisper from Alfred.

Matthew watched as two more students from each faction were called into the test rooms. He glanced over at Alfred who smiled reassuringly at him.

Matthew smiled back, though it felt forced. He wondered what faction Alfred would be best suited for. Alfred would probably get and stay in Abnegation, if that's what Matthew picked. Alfred had always claimed that he was 'the Hero of Abnegation' and that where ever help was needed, he would be there. Ready to act selflessly and protect others. Alfred was practically fearless.

Matthew wondered where he belonged. Dauntless, the brave? He wasn't very brave at all. Erudite, the intelligent? Based on his science lesson score, that was highly unlikely. Candor, the honest? Maybe, he reasoned. Part of being selfless consisted of being honest with people and he had always tried to tell the truth. Though he could recall instances where he had lied to his parents or teachers. Amity, the peaceful? Matthew thought he could belong there, they were nice and calm and always happy. Or finally Abnegation, the selfless? The faction that his parents resided in. He didn't know if he could just leave them. He wondered if he could be selfless enough, care more for others than himself, for the rest of his life.

Before he knew it they were calling more names for the aptitude tests and Matthew held his breath, knowing he was going to be chosen next.

He and Alfred were the only two from Abnegation who hadn't been called yet.

Two from Dauntless, two from Erudite, two from Candor, and two from Amity.

"And from Abnegation: Alfred Jones and Matthew Jones." They looked at one another before standing and walking toward the hall. They usually didn't call siblings at the same time, but they would be in separate rooms so Matthew figured it didn't matter anyway.

Matthew took a deep breath as he stood in front of room #7, watching as Alfred casually strolled into room #8. The only two rooms without Abnegation volunteers running the test. It was a rule that they could not be tested by someone within the same faction as them.

Matthew felt the nervous queasiness building in his stomach again. They had been told there was no way they could study or prepare for the test. Some Dauntless students had said that it was a physical test, that they inject you with a serum that causes pain to see how high your tolerance is. Or that you have to answer personal questions- embarrassing ones- under truth serum. Matthew didn't believe they were telling the truth, but the feeling in his stomach got worse as he thought about it.

He stood with his hand hovering over the door handle until the door flew open and a Dauntless women almost walked into him.

"Oh!" She exclaimed in surprise, taking a step back. "Are you Matthew Jones?"

Matthew opened him mouth to confirm but all that came out was a small, "Uh-huh." And a head nod.

She grinned at him and stepped aside, "Well come on in. I was just on my way to see where you were. Have you been standing out there the whole time?"

Matthew felt his cheeks warming up and he nodded again, stepping into the room.

The woman walked over to where a chair, much like the one Matthew had seen in the dentist's office, sat. Beside it was a machine Matthew didn't recognize. It looked dangerous. A plain plastic chair sat close to the machine. The walls of the room were covered in mirror panels. He could see his reflection everywhere he looked and it made him feel even more uncomfortable.

Finally his eyes settled on the woman again. She was from Dauntless, that much was obvious. She wore tight black pants and a white blouse, with a black blazer on top. Her shoes were shiny and black, with a heel that Matthew figured if used right could kill a man. She had a dark red flower pinned in her hair, holding her brown bangs out of her face. The rest of her hair fell in long curls down her back. Matthew realized that much to his embarrassment, she had been watching him stare the entire time, an amused smile on her face.

With his attention back on her she cleared her throat a bit and said, "My name is Elizabeta but you can call me Liz and I'll be doing your test today, okay?"

"Uh, okay." Matthew swallowed thickly, wondering why he was so nervous about the test. "My name's Matthew." He added before realizing that she already knew his name. He felt the blood rushing to his cheeks again and looked away.

Liz laughed softly but didn't mention his mistake, instead she gestured to the dentist like chair. "Take a seat and get comfortable, Matthew."

Matthew slid onto the chair and let his head fall against the headrest for just a moment before straightening up again and looking over at Liz, who had just sat down. "It... It's not going to hurt is it?"

"What? Of course not! Don't worry. It doesn't hurt a bit." The smile on her face never faded as she waited for Matthew to recline again. When he did she put an electrode on his forehead. "Are you nervous?"

"Yeah." He watched her stick an electrode to her own forehead.

"Why are you so nervous?" Another electrode near his temple.

"I..." Matthew hesitated a moment, all of his worry was because he was scared his results would be something completely different than what Alfred's results were and their parents would be disappointed and they would all be split up. What if he chose the wrong faction? What if Alfred hated him for it? What if their parents hated him if he left?

"I don't know." He whispered.

"Just relax, this is simple and shouldn't take too long." She began fixing wires between her and Matthew and their electrodes and then again from her to the machine.

"You have pretty long hair for an Abnegation boy." Liz commented.

"My Mom decided to let me and my brother wear our hair however we want this year." Matthew adjusted himself on the chair, sitting up a bit. Glancing over at Liz, who was pressing various buttons on the machine. She turned back and smiled at him.

"Smart lady. Alright! All set up. Are you ready, Matthew?" Liz picked up a small glass vial that had a clear liquid in it, Matthew would have thought it was water but it looked a bit thicker.

She handed him the vial and sat back. "Drink this when you're ready to begin."

Matthew took one final deep breath to steady himself and calm his nerves before he put the vial to his lips and tipped back the contents, swallowing it all with one gulp. He closed his eyes and felt Liz take the vial from him. When he opened his eyes he was no longer sitting in the dentist like chair, but standing alone in the dimly lit cafeteria.

A single spotlight illuminated the area around of him, casting an eerie orange glow through the room. The tables had all been pushed aside, except for one that sat directly in front of him. Sitting upon on it were two baskets, both contained one item each. The left held a block of cheese and the right, a knife.

"Choose one." A deep male voice echoed through the room. Matthew glanced around, looking for the source of the voice, but he was completely alone. He took a step towards the baskets and glanced between the two, weighing the options.

A knife could pose extremely useful in many scenarios, but it also seemed to suggest some type of violence that Matthew was uncomfortable with. The cheese, while providing food, suggested something Matthew felt was peaceful.

Reaching out Matthew grabbed the basket with the cheese block in it. The world around him warped and he was suddenly standing with a man who looked unbelievably angry, another man not far from them stood with his back turned.

The angry man turned to Matthew and glared at him, "What do you have in that basket? You have a knife, don't you?! Give it to me!"

Matthew felt his stomach churn with panic, he had a weird sense that told him he did have a knife in his basket, though he was certain he had chosen the other. He glanced down to see if the cheese was still there and was surprised to see it was gone and a checkered blanket was covering the new contents now. The blanket bulged in places and Matthew could see the corner of a book peeking out. A pang of curiosity hit him, but he ignored it in favour of figuring out what was going on.

"Answer me!" The man yelled, "Give me the knife!"

Matthew looked back at the man with his back turned and then at the angry man again, his mind was reeling, trying to make sense of the situation. "Are you going to hurt that man over there?" He asked, sparing another glance at the not angry man.

"I'm gonna kill him. He ruined my life!" The angry man seethed, taking a large step towards Matthew, who jolted in surprise. He didn't want anyone to get hurt. He needed to keep everyone, including himself, safe and out of harms way.

"I don't have a knife! I don't- really!" Matthew squawked out in alarm, taking a step back. "I don't have any weapons, just a blanket!"

The angry man narrowed his eyes at Matthew and sneered at him, "So you're on his side, that what you're sayin'?"

Matthew shook his head and held his hands up in front of him, the basket hanging by it's handle in the crook of his elbow. "I'm not on anyone's side. I just don't have a knife." Matthew hesitated then added, though quietly, "And-and even if I did I wouldn't give it to you. Violence doesn't solve anything."

The man seemed to calm down a bit, he nodded his head and rubbed his scruffy face. "Yeah... Yeah, I guess you're right."

Matthew felt himself relax, with the man no longer angry it was as though someone had lifted a tremendous weight off his shoulders. He blinked and when he opened his eyes again, he was sitting in the dentist like chair with Liz at his side, looking at the machine.

Finally Liz turned to him and smiled, "How do you feel?" She asked.

Matthew shrugged, his body felt a bit sluggish, like he was coming out of sleep, but his heart was racing. "Okay, I guess."

Liz nodded and pulled the electrodes off her face before starting on Matthew's. "Would you like to hear the results of your aptitude test now?"

"Okay," Matthew said, wiping his sweaty palms off on his pants.

"Alright," Liz leaned back in her chair and glanced at the machine before looking back at Matthew. "By not choosing the knife in the first simulation you ruled out Dauntless. You put a bit of thought into the baskets rather than just grabbing one, which could suggest Erudite. So I threw a book in your basket in the second simulation and even though you were curious, you didn't touch it. That ruled out Erudite. By not offering to help either man, or offering yourself to save the other man, and to a lesser degree; lying, you ruled out Abnegation. And finally by lying to the man, you ruled out Candor." Liz took a deep breath and let it out before smiling brightly again, "You didn't take the knife because you associated it with violence and you were willing to lie to the man to keep the peace between everyone and because of that you have a high aptitude for Amity. That is the faction that best suits you."

Matthew sat there quietly for a moment, letting the information sink in. His stomach began to twist again. He wasn't selfless enough for Abnegation, he wasn't good enough for his faction.

The look on his face must have told Liz exactly what he was thinking because she sat forward and pat Matthew's arm gently. "Just remember that even though it's not your aptitude result, you can still choose whatever you feel is right for you. If Abnegation is where you feel you belong, then that's where you should stay." She smiled warmly at him and stood up. Matthew followed suit and stood as well.

"I'd tell you to go back to the cafeteria, but we took a bit longer than expected. Your school day ended about 5 minutes ago, so you can just head straight home."

Matthew nodded and left the room, sparing one quick glance back at Liz who was still smiling and waving at him. He waved back and hurried to Alfred's locker, his mind running with thoughts of what he was going to do now.

* * *

><p>"Matthew! There you are! What took you so long?" Alfred had taken the bus, which Matthew had missed by mere seconds, home figuring Matthew had left before him. When he got home and saw no on there, he had sat on the front step and waited for his brother to return.<p>

Matthew smiled at him and shook his head, "Nothing really. I just missed the bus, so I had to walk." Alfred raised an eyebrow but didn't question further.

Once inside Alfred headed straight for the kitchen. It was his turn to make dinner. Their mother had made it the previous night, their father made breakfast and Matthew had packed their lunches. It was Abnegation routine to take turns cooking.

Regardless of the fact he didn't need to, Matthew followed Alfred and helped prepare the meal. They worked together in comfortable silence, Matthew tried to keep himself busy so he wouldn't think about what decisions had to be made, but like weeds to a garden the thoughts continued to pop into his mind, rooting deep and making him grimace frequently.

It didn't take long for their parents to get home, and Alfred finished setting the table just as they walked in.

Their mother came over and put her arms around both their shoulders, squeezing gently. "How'd the test go?"

"I think it went well," Alfred smiled at her, "I didn't know that's what it was gonna to be. I thought it was gonna be a written test."

She smiled at Alfred and then turned her head to Matthew, waiting for his answer. He just nodded and chirped a small, "Good." Then hurried to put the serving bowl of peas on the table.

Matthew pulled into his chair quickly and waited for everyone to sit. Once they were seated they passed the food around until everyone was served. They all grabbed hands afterwards and their father gave thanks to the Lord for their food, friends, family and work. Matthew and Alfred had learned in school that not every Abnegation family was religious, but their father was so Matthew assumed that meant he should be too.

After that everyone started to eat. Matthew picked at his food, taking a bite here and there, but mainly listened quietly to his parents conversation.

"I had to deal with some of the Dauntless leaders today," their father commented, shaking his head. "An impossible bunch those ones. They're conducting the ceremony this year and it's been nothing but a hassle."

"Isn't it always?" Their mother asked. "They always want to do something special on their years."

"What are they trying to do?" Alfred cut in, looking at their father. Matthew looked at him with his eyebrows raised and eyes slightly wide. They weren't supposed to talk at the table unless their parents asked them a question directly. Their listening ears were a gift to their parents, his mother always said. And after dinner, in the family room their parents gave them their listening ears.

Tonight, Matthew knew he and Alfred wouldn't get a chance to speak with their parents in the family room. Tonight they were supposed to go straight to their rooms and think about their results. Tomorrow was a big day.

Their father didn't seem perturbed by Alfred's question and just stated, "This and that. Small things really, but they add up."

Alfred just raised an eyebrow and went back to eating.

When they were finished, their parents cleaned up the dishes. Matthew and Alfred climbed the stairs in silence. At the top Alfred reached out and grabbed Matthew, he put his finger to his lips to silence his brother and Matthew obeyed. Allowing himself to be pulled into Alfred's room.

Alfred sat down at his desk and Matthew sat on his bed.

"I'm gonna ask you what your aptitude test results were," Alfred stated, "And I kinda really hope you tell me."

Matthew frowned and shook his head. They weren't supposed to discuss their results with their families. They were supposed to reflect upon the results and decide for themselves. And no matter how much Matthew thought talking with his family might help, he couldn't help but feel like a traitor for not having Abnegation as his result. "I can't, Alfred. It's against the rules."

Alfred groaned. "Fiiiiine." He flung himself back against his chair in mock exhaustion and didn't stop making overly exaggerated exasperated sighs until Matthew laughed.

"Are you nervous about tomorrow, Alfred?" Matthew asked when the laughter pittered out.

Alfred scrunched up his nose and shrugged. "Not really. I mean, you pick first so I'm just gonna pick whatever you do." Alfred grinned at him and laughed, "Just don't pick Amity. I don't think I could do the whole peaceful, singing, apple picking thing all the time."

Matthew felt his stomach drop but forced himself to nod and laugh. His brother didn't want him to pick the faction he got on the aptitude test.

The faction Matthew suited best and belonged in, Alfred didn't like.

As they laughed about how absolutely preposterous the idea of choosing Amity was, Matthew felt his heart twinge in pain. He had thought he decided he was picking Abnegation anyway, so why did it matter so much that Alfred didn't want to be Amity? He didn't want Erudite either, they discussed that before. But now, Matthew thought, things seemed different.

Everything was different.

* * *

><p><strong>AUTHOR'S NOTE:<strong>

(4/16/15) Chapter revised and edited. Minimal changes made, nothing that affects the storyline.

The story gets better. Trust me! (At least, I think it gets better but maybe I'm biased because I'm writing it? I don't know! *sweats nervously*)

I had to make up the last part of the simulation because Tris didn't do anything close for what they would have for Amity. It says somewhere in the book that the Candor don't get along with Amity because they're willing to lie to keep the peace. So I just tried to make up a scenario where Matt had to lie to keep everyone calm. It was rushed, my apologises.

Thanks for everyone who followed/faved/reviewed my story, it means a lot to me.


	3. Chapter 3: Choosing Ceremony

The bus to the Ceremony was packed full of people clad in gray clothing. Matthew stood with his family. His mother was sitting in the seat in front of them while the others held the safety bars to keep their balance on the bumpy road. Matthew watched the outside world fly past the windows wondering how all the other students felt.

It didn't take long to get to the Hub, the tallest building in the city. Once they got off the bus, Matthew gazed up, trying to see the top of it, but it was hidden amongst the clouds.

Matthew felt a hand slide into his and squeeze it, he looked to his side and found his mother smiling at him. It wasn't her usual smile; the playful, happy one. It was different; softer and more gentle. He felt a bit more comfortable for almost a second before a pang in his stomach made him feel worse. Would his mother still smile at him if he chose Amity?

"Your hands are shaking," She commented as she guided him into the Hub and over to the elevators, his father and brother just ahead of them.

"I don't feel well." Matthew murmured, hoping that his soft voice was drowned out by the chatter all around them. He glanced back at the entrance and watched a group of anxious looking Candor students light cigarettes. He didn't know anyone from Abnegation who smoked them, they were too closely tied with vanity.

The doors to the elevator opened and they stepped in, Alfred looked over at Matthew and smiled. His mother squeezed his hand again and Matthew tried to lose himself in the muffled noise, watching the numbered buttons light up as they passed each floor.

_2, 3, 4._ What if this was the last time he ever held his mothers hand? _6, 7, 8._ He squeezed back. _10, 11._ He was going to pick Abnegation and stay with his family. _13, 14._ He wanted to pick Amity. _15._ Alfred didn't want Amity. _16._ He wanted to stay with Alfred. _17._ He didn't want to be alone. _18._ He would pick Abnegation and they'd all stay together._ 19._ He wasn't selfless enough. He wasn't good enough. _20._ **Abnegation.**

The bell dinged and the doors slid open.

They left the elevator and entered a large room arranged in concentric circles. Around the edges stood the 16 year olds of every faction. They weren't considered members yet. Once they chose a faction, they would become initiates and if they completed initiation they would become true members.

Alfred led the way over to the line of students and they arranged themselves in alphabetical order, according to their last names. Matthew had Alfred on one side and a Candor student named Heracles Karpusi, dressed in casual black slacks with a white dress shirt, on the other. Matthew felt obscurely small, whether it was because of the big decision that weighed heavily on his shoulders or the fact Alfred and Heracles loomed over him in height, he didn't know.

Rows of chairs for their families made up the next circle, arranged in five sections by faction. Not everyone from the factions shows up, but enough to make a booming crowd. Matthew felt even more nervous. He was never good in front of an audience, even if he wasn't speaking.

The responsibility to conduct the ceremony rotated between the faction leaders each year. As their father told them previously, it was the Dauntless year to host. One of the Dauntless leaders, a handsome man named Francis Bonnefoy, would give the opening address then read their names in reverse alphabetical order.

Matthew watched more families enter with their children. Some he recognized from his classes. He let out a breath he didn't even know he had been holding.

In the last circle were 5 metal bowls so big Matthew figured they could hold a person in them; if they lay a certain way. Each of the bowls contained a substance that represented each faction: gray stones for Abnegation, water for Erudite, earth for Amity, lit coals for Dauntless, and glass for Candor.

Matthew ran the steps of what they had to do through his mind again. He had to wait until his name was called, after Heracles and before Alfred, then walk to the centre of the three circles. Not speaking. He didn't know why that was a rule, he didn't think he'd be able to mutter a single syllable in front of that many people regardless of the circumstances. Francis would hand him a knife and he would have to cut into his hand, just a slice across; enough to draw blood, and spill it into the bowl of the faction he chose.

The faction he was swearing himself to, that he would spill his blood for and potentially leave his family for.

Matthew jolted when he felt a hand clap his shoulder. He looked up, realizing he had been staring at the floor the entire time and found his father staring at him. His mother was hugging Alfred, whispering to him.

"Don't be nervous, Son. We'll see you and your brother soon enough!" His father grinned at him and then pat him on the head. His grin softened into a smile and he nodded his head. "I'm proud of you, Matthew." Without another word or waiting for a response, his father turned and went to the seats.

Matthew stood there, unmoving. His father seemed so sure he and Alfred would choose Abnegation. Of course they would, Matthew reasoned, as much as he wanted to join Amity and their carefree, happy lives; he needed his family. He'd pick Abnegation and Alfred would pick what he did. They'd stay together as a family.

Matthew smiled as his mother turned and embraced him. And just as she had with Alfred, she turned her head and whispered to him, ever so quietly. "No matter what you choose, Matthew, your father and I love you. No matter what." He hugged her back. "You do what you have to do, okay? Think of yourself just this once." Her voice was calm and reassuring. She pulled out of the hug and gently held his face in her hands. "You pick whichever faction you feel you belong in, Matthew. I know it's hard, but you can do it." She leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the forehead before she turned and went to join their father.

Matthew felt like he was going to cry or vomit (the potential for both was growing stronger by the second). Why did his mother have to be so encouraging? He had finally decided to put his feelings aside and choose what was best for his family and Alfred. He couldn't think of himself at a time like this. He couldn't just pick Amity. Even if they were so friendly and happy. Even if that was what his result was on the aptitude test. Even if he really wanted to. He shook his head to get rid of the thoughts. He was picking Abnegation and Alfred would too and they'd stay with their family.

Alfred leaned over closer to Matthew and smiled. "Don't worry, Matthew. Even if Mother said to think about ourselves, I'm gonna pick whatever you do. Because even if I can't be with Mother or Father, I wanna stay with you." He grabbed Matthew's hand and squeezed it. "We're brothers to the end, no matter what." He flashed his hero grin and released Matthew's hand, standing back in place again.

Matthew knew Alfred had said those words to comfort him but they didn't. Not at all. If anything Matthew thought he felt worse now.

Matthew stared at the lanterns across the room, listening as people slowly began to quiet down. The lanterns cast an odd blue glow all around them.

Francis stood at the podium between the Erudite and the Dauntless and cleared his throat into the microphone. The room became silent.

Matthew's heartbeat pounded in his chest and his ears. He could hardly hear over it, and he wondered if he would miss his name being called because of it. He realized no one was actually talking yet, the room was just settling. Francis was taking a dramatic pause.

He took a deep breath, in and out. His ears were ringing and he was shaking a bit. He wondered if he was going to faint. _Dear God_, he thought, _I hope not. That would be so embarrassing._

"Welcome," Francis said, "to the Choosing Ceremony. Welcome to the day we honour the democratic philosophy of our ancestors, which tells us that every man has the right to choose his own way in the world."

Matthew was trying to listen but the words sounded like a steady rumble, the only word he made out clearly was 'choose'. And he focused heavily on that word. _Choose_ Abnegation, _choose _Amity, _choose_ your family, _choose_ yourself, _choose_ for Alfred, _choose_ for Matthew, _choosechoosechoosechoose_. The word didn't even sound right any more.

"Our dependants are now sixteen. They stand on the precipice of adulthood, and it is now up to them to decide what kind of people they will be." Francis' voice was smooth and deep. Matthew focused in on him, rather than his words. They had similar hair, Matthew mused, his was shorter than Francis', whose hair went almost down to his shoulders but it was blond too. He was tall and elegant. The Dauntless clothing fit like a second skin. The black dress pants were cut straight and the top, a black button down, was slimming.

"Decades ago our ancestors realized that it is not political ideology, religious belief, race, or nationalism that is to blame for a warring world. Rather, they determined that it was the fault of human personality- of humankind's inclination toward evil, in whatever form that is. They divided into factions that sought to eradicate those qualities they believed responsible for the world's disarray."

Matthew realized the ringing in his ears wasn't there any more and tried to focus on what Francis was saying. His mind continued to wander and his gaze fell on the Amity, he remembered the girls from the aptitude test and their rhyming word song, he imagined them singing a different one- just for him.

_"Matthew joined the Amity,_  
><em>Causing a calamity.<em>  
><em>His parents mad,<em>  
><em>Alfred's sad.<em>  
><em>Matthew joined the Amity!"<em>

Matthew snorted quietly, that was actually pretty good for something he made up on the spot. Maybe he should join them. Heracles glanced at him, an eyebrow raised curiously.

"Those who blamed aggression form Amity." The Amity smiled at one another. Matthew wanted to smile with them but he didn't. He stood there, still and quiet. Kind, loving and free, he wanted to join them.

"Those who blamed ignorance became the Erudite." Matthew knew he and Alfred weren't smart or studious enough.

"Those who blamed duplicity created Candor." Matthew remembered the time Alfred broke a picture frame and blamed him. All the times he lied about having homework or not failing a test. They could never be Candor.

"Those who blamed selfishness made Abnegation." Matthew knew he wasn't selfless enough, he knew from the aptitude test. He wanted so badly to belong with them, with his family. But he was selfish.

"Those who blamed cowardice were the Dauntless." Matthew wasn't brave enough for Dauntless, they weren't scared of anything. And he was.

"Working together, these five factions have lived in peace for many years, each contributing to a different sector of society. Abnegation has fulfilled our need for selfless leaders in government; Candor has provided us with trustworthy and sound leaders in law; Erudite has supplied us with intelligent teachers and researchers; Amity has given us understanding counsellors and caretakers; and Dauntless provides us with protection from threats both within and without. But the reach of each faction is not limited to these areas. We give one another far more than can be adequately summarized. In our factions we find meaning, we find purpose, we find life." Francis' voice was calm and relaxed, but he gave the words the feeling they needed.

"Apart from them, we would not survive."

Francis' last words hung in the air and the room felt heavy again. If you didn't belong in a faction, you were factionless. It was a fate worse than death, their teachers at school had told them.

Matthew glanced down the line of 16 year olds. At the end was a guy named Vash Zwingli. He'd have to choose first. He was an Erudite, Matthew had a few classes with him before. He wondered if Vash was going to switch factions and if he was anxious about going first.

"Therefore this day marks a happy occasion- the day on which we receive our new initiates who will work with us toward a better society and a better world."

People started clapping, the Dauntless yelled and cheered.

Matthew waited for Francis to call the first name-Vash Zwingli-, but instead Francis waited for everyone to quiet down again. Then a small half smile appeared on his face.

"This year," Francis stated, "we have decided to change the order. We will be calling names alphabetically rather than reverse."

A long silence followed and Matthew felt his chest well with relief. He didn't have to choose first! Alfred had to! He felt a thousand pounds lighter. He stole a glance at Alfred whose jaw had gone slack. The colour had drained from his face and Matthew could practically see the gears in his head moving overtime as he realized what his meant for him.

Alfred slowly looked over at Matthew, his eyes wide. For a reason he couldn't explain, Matthew felt a pang of anger towards Alfred. It was been up to him before, and Alfred hadn't cared how he felt about making that decision but now that he had to make it himself, he knew that it felt terrible.

Matthew blanked out as Francis began calling the names. He looked back at his parents, who smiled at him. He smiled back. The first student, an Erudite, chose the faction he came from. Matthew watched his blood spill into the water. A few more names were called but Matthew largely ignored them, listening only when someone he knew from his classes was classed.

"Ivan Braginsky."

Ivan was a very tall student Matthew had tried to avoid all the time. He was a Candor student and used honesty as an excuse to be rude. He casually strolled to the centre of the room, took the offered knife from Francis and without a moments hesitation cut his palm and held it over the Dauntless bowl, letting his blood drop onto the lit coals. Matthew grimaced when he heard it sizzle. At least he'd never have to deal with Ivan again, he thought.

The Dauntless exchanged looks of smug happiness, smiles and claps. The Candor frowned and murmured disapprovingly. They would probably see him as a traitor, as it usually was when someone left their faction for another. His family would get the chance to see him on Visiting Day, a week and a half after the ceremony, but they probably wouldn't. He was given a choice and he had chosen to leave his family. His loved ones.

Matthew glanced at Alfred. He was still pale and his hands were shaking. Matthew felt terrible for feeling relief at not having to decide. But he knew Alfred, he would pick Abnegation and then Matthew would do what Alfred said he was going to do. Pick the same one. Their roles were just reversed now. Alfred would choose and Matthew would follow him loyally.

Matthew reached over and grabbed Alfred's hand, squeezing it encouragingly. Trying to send him positive encouragement, but all too quickly the line was dwindling and before they knew it the girl ahead of Alfred was walking to the centre of the circles. She chose her original faction.

"Alfred Jones."

Matthew watched as Alfred gave his hand one last squeeze and swallowed thickly before making his way to the centre of the circles. Francis held the knife out to Alfred and he grabbed it.

Time seemed to slow down as Matthew held his breath in anticipation. Alfred licked his lips and looked at the bowls.

Matthew flinched as Alfred dragged the knife across his palm and let the blood begin to pool. Then, without a second thought or an ounce of hesitation, Alfred thrust his hand over a bowl and let the blood slip into it.

Matthew felt his heart stop. The faction Alfred chose clapped and cheered and Alfred had the audacity to _smile_ as he went and stood behind them with the other faction transfers. Matthew's eyes followed him the whole time. The sound of Alfred's blood sizzling in the Dauntless coals was the only sound Matthew heard as he focused on the feeling boiling inside him.

Alfred had left their parents. Alfred had left him. Alfred had chosen to think of himself in that moment. If Matthew had gone first they would both be Abnegation. Matthew felt anger well up inside him as Alfred smiled at the other transfers. He had been willing to give up the faction he wanted to be in, the one he belonged in. Yet Alfred had been selfish enough to choose what he wanted.

Matthew didn't know why but he felt betrayed, as though Alfred picking Dauntless was a sign of him betraying their family.

And then suddenly Alfred was staring back at Matthew, a wild look of realization dawned on him. Matthew watched as Alfred opened his mouth and closed it. Then opened it again and shook his head slightly. A silent apology.

Matthew was brought back to attention when he felt a hand nudge him from behind. He glanced behind him and saw Heracles give him a curious look before tilting his chin toward the bowls. Matthew looked over and realized Francis was staring at him. A look to the crowd told him that everyone was. Francis must have called him name. Matthew's cheeks began to burn as Francis called him name again.

"Matthew Jones."

Matthew walked over, trying to look casual and not as embarrassed as he was, but he felt stiff and awkward. Francis had an amused smile playing on his lips as he held out the knife, Matthew looked at him for a moment before reaching over for it.

Gripping the knife tightly he spared another look at Francis. The Dauntless leader winked and Matthew felt himself redden in surprise.

He turned quickly and stood at the centre of the bowls. His eyes searched the crowd and landed on his parents. His mother was holding his father's arm and she smiled at him softly, nodding her head. His father had his jaw clenched and his eyebrows furrowed. He wasn't happy with Alfred's decision.

He looked over to the Dauntless section and found Alfred's eyes, pleading and worried; trying to convey a message that Matthew couldn't understand.

Matthew took a deep breath and gripped the knife, putting the blade against his palm. His hands were shaking. Biting his lip he applied as much pressure as he could stand against his soft skin and pulled the knife across it in one fast motion. Blood dripped instantaneously from his hand onto the already spotted ground.

His mind reeled. _Choose Abnegation_, a deep voice roared in his mind,_ stay with your parents_. Alfred had always been the favourite anyway. _Choose Amity_, a soft voice countered, _it's where you belong_. He would be alone. _Choose Dauntless_, a familiar voice demanded, _stay with your brother_. Matthew wouldn't survive a day in Dauntless.

Matthew couldn't stand the thought of being alone, without any of his loved ones. Alfred had wanted them to stay together too. His parents had each other and always would.

Quickly he thrust his blood soaked hand over a bowl and let the room fill with the sizzling sound of his choice.

Matthew felt like he was in a daze as he walked over to the Dauntless section, blood still slowly dripping from his finger tips. He didn't register the sounds of them clapping and cheering at the new realization. For the first time ever, they had received two transfer initiates in a row. Siblings. A matching set.

An angry cry broke through the haze Matthew had been in. He didn't need to look around to find the source of the noise. He recognized the voice instantly, even as it continued to yell. Their father was clearly none to pleased with having both his sons switch factions.

His father stopped yelling once Matthew reached the other Dauntless transfers and stood in his spot beside Alfred. They said nothing to each other and focused on the ceremony. Matthew attempted to watch, but the Dauntless born initiates were taller than him and blocked his view almost completely.

* * *

><p><strong>AUTHOR'S NOTE:<strong>

(4/17/15) Chapter revised and edited. Minimal changes made, nothing that affects the storyline.

Francis' speech is taken right from the book. The exact one Marcus gives. I take no credit for it what-so-ever. Just so we're all clear!

I hate editing.


	4. Chapter 4: Arrival

Matthew zoned out for the rest of the ceremony. He kept his head down, not even bothering to look at Alfred who stood stock-still beside him. The ceremony seemed to fly by in a flurry. The last boy-Vash- made his decision to switch to Amity and then it was over.

Matthew moved with the other faction transfers, the Dauntless were always the first to leave. They left the room and the sound of laughter and cheers followed them. The Dauntless ran down the stairwell, all 20 flights, banging the metal railings and screaming. Matthew wasn't used to running that much, only what he had to do for his physical education class. As they shot through the doors to the outside, Matthew felt like his throat and his lungs were burning and raw.

They didn't stop once they were out of the Hub, instead they continued running, full speed. Matthew kept pace with the others, though his muscles screamed in protest. They raced across the street, not even bothering to look for oncoming vehicles, a bus barely stopped in time.

To keep his mind from the burn of his muscles and the ache of his lungs, Matthew let his thoughts take over. He couldn't believe he was there, with the Dauntless, running to God only knows where.

They went down the street and turned a corner. Once they rounded the corner Matthew realized what was happening.

"Shit," An Erudite boy with huge eyebrows muttered. The sound of a train horn echoed and Matthew felt his heart stop. Of course they would travel by the trains, he should have known.

The Dauntless crowded by the tracks and began to spread themselves out in a long line. The train approached quickly, the lights flashed blindingly. Matthew could tell all the doors on each car were open, waiting for the Dauntless to jump in.

The Dauntless born initiates hopped into the first few open cars easily, leaving the transfers behind. Matthew panicked, doubting he was fast or strong enough to jump on to a moving train.

Alfred moved behind him, placing his hand between Matthew's shoulder blades. He leaned close to Matthew's ear and hurriedly began to explain. "Jog beside the car, any open one, and then grab the handle. Lift yourself in with that. I'm right behind you!"

Matthew didn't have time to look behind him at his brother, Alfred gave him a shove and he started moving, trying to keep pace beside the train. The rattle of the tracks was deafening. Quickly Matthew grabbed the handle and threw himself toward the open door of the car. As he moved he could feel Alfred's hands on his hips, heaving him up.

Matthew landed roughly on his hands and knees, he crawled out of the doorway and sat against the wall. Seconds later Alfred jumped into the car landing on his feet with hardly any difficulty, he leaned against the open doorway and held a hand out, helping the Erudite boy into the car.

Alfred's eyes quickly found Matthew and he moved to sit beside him. They didn't speak. Matthew listened to the sound of the wind howling into the open car. The train was picking up speed. The force of the wind rushing through the car was too much to stand against, so the other transfers sat down as well.

Matthew wondered how many of them had made it onto the train. He didn't think anyone was left behind but he didn't know who ended up in other cars.

Beside him Alfred rubbed his face with his hands. Matthew wanted to talk to him, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to speak. Instead he turned his head away and watched as the sun slowly made it's way toward the horizon.

Some of the others were talking amongst themselves, those who had been in the same factions and knew one another but Matthew couldn't hear them over the gusting wind.

* * *

><p>Matthew's body ached from sitting against the hardwood of the train for so long. He tilted his head from side to side, popping his neck. Beside him Alfred was resting his head on his knees. Matthew wondered if he had fallen asleep but Alfred jarred himself up when a voice from the door gave a shout.<p>

"They're jumping off!"

The train had slowed down considerably in the past minute and Matthew had sat up wondering if they were going to stop soon. But the Dauntless wouldn't do something as simple as that. They would jump off a moving train.

Matthew stood up and moved to the door with the other transfers. A horrible sense of nausea hit him when he looked out. They were jumping off the train onto the rooftop of a building that was 7 stories high. _One slip up_, Matthew realized, _could be fatal_.

The Dauntless in the cars ahead of them were jumping through the air and landing on the building roof.

"This is fucking crazy!" A Candor boy yelled over the wind. "We could die!"

No one responded as they stood in a line, preparing to jump. Matthew ignored the other voices, the people yelling they couldn't do it and focused on the roof.

Matthew felt Alfred's hand slide into his, gripping it tightly. "We'll jump together." He stated, keeping his eyes focused on the roof.

Before Matthew had a chance to respond, Alfred was getting in to a jumping stance. "Ready? 3... 2..." Matthew bent his knees and tensed his body. "1... Jump!"

Alfred tugged Matthew's hand as they shot out of the train door and flew through the air. Matthew felt like his stomach was going to shoot out his mouth as they plummeted downwards.

_This is it, it's over. _Matthew's mind reeled. _We'll falling and we're going to die. This is it._

He landed hard on his side and rolled onto his stomach, Alfred landed sprawled on top of him. Matthew kept his eyes shut tight before cracking one open slowly, scared he might be dead.

He looked around amazed, they had landed on the roof relatively unhurt. Alfred gave an airy relieved laugh and soon enough everyone was laughing with him, relief evident in their shaky voices. Even the Dauntless born initiates and members laughed.

Matthew picked himself up and brushed the dirt from his elbows. His left side stung from landing and his cut palm from earlier throbbed painfully. Alfred stood and patted Matthew on the back, the tension from earlier somehow seemed to lessen. Matthew gave him a small smile.

The Erudite boy with bushy eyebrows was brushing bits of gravel off his face and had a small scrape on his cheek. A rough landing but he made it, something he was clearly happy about.

The Candor boy, with deep brown hair and a strange piece that stuck out near the side, who had yelled earlier, had a smug look of satisfaction on his face though his eyes were wide and his hands were shaking. Matthew figured he must have landed on his feet.

Matthew glanced over the ledge and grimaced. No one would have survived had they fallen that far. The thought made him shudder.

A loud, sharp whistle caught everyone's attention.

"Listen up!" A tall man with blond hair that stuck up in every direction called out. "My name is Mathias and I'm one of the three Dauntless leaders."

Mathias stood on the other side of the roof, on the small ledge overlooking the crowd.

"Several stories below us is the members' entrance to our compound. If you can't muster the will to jump off, you don't belong here. Our initiates have the privilege of going first." A huge grin was plastered to Mathias's face as he explained.

"Wait, what? You expect us to jump off a _building_?" A boy with slanted eyes and black hair asked.

Mathias looked amused as he nodded his head in confirmation.

"What's at the bottom?" The brunette Candor transfer asked.

"Who knows?" Mathias responded, crossing his arms and cocking his head to the side.

The crowd of Dauntless members parted down the middle, leaving all the initiates standing awkwardly together. No one looked eager to jump, even the Dauntless borns seemed to be slightly taken aback by what Mathias told them.

Matthew was suddenly shoved forward from the group.

"Ladies first." A deep voice, belonging to none other than Ivan Braginski stated.

Laughter spread amongst the crowd and Matthew felt his cheeks reddening with embarrassment. He recalled earlier in the evening when he had been relieved by the thought that he'd never have to deal with Ivan again. _So much for that,_ he thought bitterly.

Alfred glared at Ivan and pulled away from the group, walking over to the ledge. Mathias moved out of his way and Alfred looked over the edge.

"I'll go first." Alfred said as casually as if he were talking about the weather.

"Be my guest." Mathias stated, his eyebrows raised.

Alfred turned and walked back past the group, they moved aside and watched in silence. Alfred tugged off his grey Abnegation jacket and tossed it on the ground. Someone wolf whistled but Alfred didn't look back. He popped his knuckles and got ready to take a running start.

"Alfred..." Matthew started, turning away from the ledge and toward his brother. Before he could talk his brother out of going first Alfred was running, but rather than towards the ledge he ran straight at Matthew.

Matthew didn't have time to process what Alfred was doing before his brother's shoulder caught him in the stomach and he was being hauled like a sack of potatoes into the air and over Alfred's shoulder.

"Alfred!" Matthew cried out in surprise but it was to late to stop him. The air rushed against them as Matthew felt Alfred leap up on to the ledge and without a second thought or an ounce of hesitation he threw himself and Matthew over the edge.

Matthew's last sight, before the rush of air and fear caused him to close his eyes, was of the shocked and surprised expressions of those still crowded on the roof.

The sensation of falling dragged throughout Matthew's stomach and he tensed his muscles, unsure of what they might land in or on, if they didn't splatter on the ground. He would have screamed but his throat was clenched too tightly with fear.

Suddenly they were consumed by darkness, and Matthew landed against something hard. It gave way beneath them and cradled their bodies. Alfred landed on top of Matthew, his shoulder crushed all the air out of his lungs and Matthew gasped loudly.

They didn't move for a moment, Alfred because of the shock and relief and Matthew because he was winded and stuck beneath his brother. Matthew could see the top of the building from where he was and he nearly laughed. They had a net at the bottom. It had been a scare tactic the entire time. He should have known.

Alfred laughed loudly and rolled off Matthew. Hands were reaching towards them to pull them back onto solid ground. Alfred grabbed one and disappeared over the side. Matthew crawled across the net to the spot where Alfred disappeared. Suddenly a hand was thrust into his face and Matthew blindly grabbed it and pulled himself over the edge, nearly landing face first on the wood floor.

A firm hand on his shoulder steadied him. Alfred stood grinning beside the man who had pulled them both off the net.

"Th-thank you." Matthew stuttered quietly, then mentally chided himself for it. He used to stutter a lot as a child and had to take speech therapy for it. Sometimes it still escaped when he was nervous or scared. It had often been during presentations in class. Matthew made a mental note that he would now have to focus on speaking properly because he knew it would be nothing but fear and nerves in the Dauntless compound.

The man beside Alfred, with near white hair and eyes that appeared almost red in the barely lit room said nothing as they looked around.

They stood on a platform roughly 10 feet above the ground. Around them was an open cavern.

The man smirked at them as he took in the sight. "I'll be damned. Two Stiff's, the first to jump? Can't say I've ever seen that before."

Matthew could see tattoo's lacing up and down his pale arms, disappearing into the sleeves of his black t-shirt, the dark lines intertwined in intricate designs.

"Don't call them that, Gilly. They left Abnegation for a reason." A familiar female voice said from behind them. Matthew turned and was surprised to find Elizabeta, the woman who had done his aptitude test, standing there.

"Liz!" He exclaimed, smiling at her.

Her eyes widened when she recognized him and her mouth hung open for a minute before she clamped it shut and forced a smile back. "Nice to see you again."

"What are your names?" The man asked. Matthew turned back and locked eyes with him. Alfred responded first.

"My name's Alfred and this is my little brother Matthew."

The man looked at Alfred with narrowed eyes then turned his gaze to Matthew. "Is that right?" He asked curiously.

Matthew nodded his head.

Elizabeta placed her hand on Matthew's shoulder and smiled. "Make the announcement, Gil!"

The man-Gil- turned and shouted towards the darkened room. "First jumper-Alfred and Matthew!"

Loud cheers broke out and as Matthew's eyes adjusted he saw a crowd emerge from the darkness. Alfred grinned proudly and soaked up the attention.

A form dropped through the roof and landed in the net with a scream. It was the Erudite boy from earlier and everyone was laughing and reaching to help him out of the net.

Alfred quickly made his way over to help as well. Matthew felt Elizabeta squeeze his shoulder and he glanced over at her. She said something quietly but Matthew couldn't hear her over the sound of the cheering Dauntless crowd. Before he could ask her to repeat herself, she nodded her head and went over to the net. Matthew furrowed his brow and hoped it wasn't important.

Matthew felt a hand being placed on his back and he turned, Gil was leaning down, his face close Matthew's.

"Welcome to Dauntless, Stiff." He said with a growing animalistic grin.

* * *

><p>Once all the initiates had jumped and were standing on solid ground again, Gil and Elizabeta lead them down a narrow tunnel. The walls were made of stone and the ceiling sloped. Matthew focused on each dim-light as they went by them, trying hard not to stumble in the darkness between the long intervals.<p>

The group stopped moving suddenly and Matthew felt someone bump into him from behind.

"Alright," Elizabeta chirped, "This is where we split! Dauntless-born initiates come with me! I'm sure none of you need a tour of the place you grew up in."

The group split up, the eight Dauntless born initiates left. Seven people stood amongst the faction transfers. Matthew only knew Alfred and Ivan. His brother, who he was having conflicting feelings about and the person who took every opportunity to pick on him. _Fantastic,_ he thought bitterly.

There were three Candor transfers, one being Ivan. The other was the brunette boy with a strand that stuck out and a dark skinned boy with short dreadlocks held in a ponytail. There were two Erudite transfers, the one from earlier with messy blond hair, huge eyebrows and striking green eyes. The other was a boy with slanted eyes and dark hair who was fidgeting with his hands and practically bouncing as he moved.

Alfred and Matthew were the only Abnegation transfers. There were none from Amity. Matthew felt a pang of sadness resound through his chest, wondering briefly what the Amity initiation consisted of.

"Alright." Gil stated loudly, grabbing everyone's attention. "My name is Gilbert and for the next few weeks, I'm gonna be your instructor. You will do what I tell you to do when I tell you to do it. No complaints. Any problems with that?"

Gilbert's eyes suddenly locked with Matthew's and he felt his face beginning to heat up. Matthew quickly shook his head.

"Good." Gilbert smirked. "We're about to go into the Pit, which you will one day love."

"The Pit?" The brunette Candor boy asked with a sneer.

Gilbert shot him a dirty look but otherwise ignored the comment and turned away, walking toward the shadow at the end of the tunnel. The group of transfers followed after him in silence.

At the end of the tunnel Gilbert pushed a set of double doors open and they all moved through the open doorway.

"Oh." The Candor transfer muttered. The name suddenly made sense to everyone.

The Pit was quite literally an underground cavern, from where Matthew stood at the bottom, he couldn't see the other side. Rigid rock walls rose several stories high above their heads. Built into the walls were places for food, clothing, supplies and leisurely activities. Narrow paths and steps carved from rock connected them. There were no barriers or railings to keep people from falling over the side.

Across one wall was a slant of orange light, the roof of the pit was formed of panes of glass and above them was a building that let in the sunlight.

Blue lanterns hung at random intervals over the stone steps, like the ones Matthew had been staring at during the Choosing Ceremony. The lanterns grew brighter as the sunlight dissipated.

Matthew looked around in amazement. He had never seen a place like the Pit. People were everywhere, all dressed in black, laughing, talking, shouting. They were expressive and loud. Children ran around the narrow steps laughing. The place was chaos and Matthew didn't know how to react. In his old faction everyone had walked in a straight line, they greeted one another with inclined heads or small smiles.

Matthew bit his lip and furrowed his brow, he had never been anywhere as noisy as the Dauntless compound. He didn't feel comfortable, he felt like he was only visiting and soon, rather staying here, he would be returning home to his own bed. A sudden lump formed in Matthew's throat when he realized he'd never be sleeping in his bed at home again. Almost as if on cue for a distraction, Gilbert caught their attention again.

"Now I'm going to show you the chasm." As Gilbert turned and lead them off, Matthew found himself at the back of the group rather than where he originally stood at the front.

Gilbert lead them off to the right side of the Pit, which was conspicuously dark. As they approached Matthew realized the ground ended at an iron barrier. The closer they moved to the barrier the more the sound and view came into focus. It was a roar of fast rushing water hitting rock.

Matthew stepped around the dark skinned transfer with the ponytail and looked over the railing. Several stories below them was a rushing river. Water hit the wall beneath Matthew and sprayed up. Towards the left the water was calmer, but to the right it was a white fury, hitting the rocks.

"The chasm reminds us that there is a fine line between bravery and idiocy!" Gilbert shouted over the roar of the water against the rocks. "A daredevil jump off this ledge will end your life. It has happened before and it will happen again. You've been warned!"

Gilbert turned and lead the group away from the chasm, across the Pit and toward a gaping hole in the wall. The room was well-lit and Matthew could see inside it clearly. A dining hall full of people and the sound of clattering silverware. When they entered the room, the Dauntless inside stood up; they applauded, they stomped their feet, they shouted. The noise filled the entire room. It was so loud Matthew thought he could feel it reverberating through his chest.

Matthew spared a look at the others. Alfred had a huge grin on his face as he gazed around, they others laughed and smiled along.

It took Matthew only a moment to realize he wasn't smiling or grinning along with them. He was watching them with a bit of curiosity. They all seemed to enjoy the noise, allowing it to flow through them and get them excited. Matthew tried to shut the sounds out.

He looked up and locked eyes with Gilbert who was watching him with an eyebrow raised. Matthew forced a grin and a small laugh.

Matthew turned his head away from Gilbert and let the other transfers see his grin, no matter how forced it appeared. He turned away afterwards, looking around the room.

The rock walls, the tables down the sides of the room. This place was foreign to Matthew and he knew he didn't belong. No matter how much the Dauntless cheered for them, he knew he wasn't one of them.

They all broke away, looking for a place to sit. Matthew found an almost empty table and sat down. Mere seconds passed before Alfred slid into the seat beside him. Some of the other transfers sat with them. Gilbert grabbed a seat across from Alfred and Elizabeta slid in beside him, across from Matthew.

Matthew was biting his lip as he stared at the food platter that sat in the middle of the table. Circular pieces of meat wedged between round slices of bread.

"They're hamburgers." Matthew looked up at Alfred as though he had been the one to speak before letting his eyes fall on the Erudite transfer with large eyebrows. He cocked his head to the side as he looked at them. "They're beef. Have you never had them before?"

"No." Alfred stated, picking one up. Instinctively Matthew mimicked Alfred and took one too.

Gilbert slid a small bowl with red sauce in it across to them. "Put this on it, it tastes better."

"Holy shit," Alfred groaned after his first bite. "This is delicious! Where has this been my whole life?! Ugh." He all but stuffed the rest in his mouth before grabbing another as the others laughed at his antics.

Matthew took a small bite from his but wasn't feeling very hungry. He nibbled at it every so often, listening to the conversations around him.

"My name's Alfred." Alfred looked at the Erudite transfer expectantly, who swallowed his food before answering.

"Arthur Kirkland. Pleased to meet you." He stated before he turned his head to Matthew who was picking at the bread around his burger. When Matthew didn't speak up he added, "And your name is...?"

"That's my brother Matthew." Alfred interrupted. Matthew glanced up at him and then at Arthur before nodding in confirmation.

"Ah," Arthur nodded back, "Nice to meet you as well."

Matthew sipped a glass of water and looked around. There had been many kinds of drinks on the table, but Matthew had stuck with what he had always known.

Suddenly people began to cheer, Matthew glanced around and saw three men stroll into the dining hall. He recognized two of them instantly, Francis who had spoken at the ceremony and Mathias who had met them on the rooftop. Matthew looked at the third man who was handsome, tall and tan with short wavy brown hair and green eyes, but he didn't know who he was. They glanced around the room before heading straight towards the table Matthew was sitting at.

When they reached it Mathias stole the seat beside Matthew and the others stood, leaning over the side.

"Gilbert!" Francis grinned, "There you are! We've been looking for you."

Gilbert raised his eyebrows and sat back. "You know I had to show around the transfers. That's kind of part of being an instructor." As if to emphasize his point Gilbert waved a hand at the initiates. Matthew nervously sipped his drink again and averted his eyes but his tactic for going unnoticed seemed to fail as Mathias leaned close to him and grinned.

"Hey! Aren't you the first jumpers?"

Alfred practically beamed as he nodded, "Yeah! Me and Matthew jumped first together."

Mathias laughed and sat back. "Seems more like you took him with you then going together."

Alfred shrugged. "Same thing."

The other man, who Matthew assumed was the third leader of Dauntless, raised his eyebrows and looked between them with surprise. "I heard about that! Everyone was talking about it."

"Indeed, Antonio." Francis said suddenly, catching Matthew's attention. He looked over to find Francis watching him and Alfred, gazing between them. "It's quite interesting, isn't it? Having siblings both choose Dauntless, Stiffs originally none the less." Francis cocked his head to the side and regarded them quietly as Antonio began to speak.

"Yeah, yeah! That's a first, right? I wonder how long they'll last." Antonio smirked down at them playfully, but Matthew felt something less than friendly pass through the look and shifted uncomfortably.

"We want to speak with you and Elizabeta." Francis stated, turning his attention to Gilbert who nodded in response.

Elizabeta nodded her head as well. She had been watching the entire ordeal quietly from her seat beside Gilbert.

"Right now," Francis stated impatiently, turning and leaving. Without a word, Mathias and Antonio joined him.

Elizabeta spared a glance at Gilbert who gave a small shrug and rose from the table.

Matthew watched as the five of them exited the room without looking back.

"Well," Arthur cleared his throat, grabbing his attention. "That was... Uncomfortable."

Matthew nodded his head in agreement, turning his attention back to the barely touched burger in front of him.

* * *

><p>Just as everyone was finishing their meal, Antonio waltzed back into the room and over to their table, beaming.<p>

"Hey!" He greeted, giving them a wide-toothed grin. "You guys are coming with me now, okay? So get up! Let's go!"

Not bothering to wait for them to finish, Antonio spun on his heels and began walking away at a brisk pace.

Matthew quickly pushed away from the table and sprinted to keep up with the Dauntless leader. The other initiates following close behind.

They hurried down a maze of dark hallways, the only lights were the lanterns at the end of each long passage. Matthew stumbled more than once and based on the steady stream of quiet curses coming from behind him, the brunette Candor transfer wasn't faring much better than he was.

The rest of the transfers remained silent, watching the Dauntless leader's back cautiously. Matthew wasn't sure what it was but something about the cheery attitude Antonio displayed seemed fake and practised. He wondered if the other transfers thought the same thing.

Suddenly Antonio stopped in front of a large wooden door. He turned back to the group and smiled brightly in the dim lighting. Matthew shifted awkwardly as the other initiates crowded around the leader. He didn't like being so closely packed with others.

"I met a few of you earlier this evening but I didn't speak to many of you. I'm Antonio, one of the three leaders of Dauntless. Your instructor, Gilbert, had some business to take care of so I offered to finish up your tour." Antonio leaned back against the door and rubbed his jaw.

"First things first! We have some ground rules," He said. "You have to be in the training room by eight o'clock every morning. Training takes place everyday from eight to six, with a break for lunch. You are free to do whatever you like after six. You will also get some time off between each stage of initiation."

Matthew shifted his weight from foot to foot, biting his fingernails as Antonio continued.

"You are only permitted to leave the compound when accompanied by a Dauntless. We don't have a ton of rules, so it's best if you just abide by the few we do have."

Antonio waved his hand at the wooden door. "Behind this door is the room where you will be sleeping for the next few weeks. There are ten beds and only seven of you, we expected a higher number of transfers."

Antonio pursed his lips as he looked at each of them in turn. Matthew pulled his hand away from his mouth quickly and averted his eyes when Antonio's gaze fell on him but just as quickly as it had with the others, it moved on to the rest of the initiates.

"Actually, we also expected at least one female transfer but there doesn't seem to be any this year."

Matthew braced himself, preparing for the insult from Ivan who always seemed to grab an opportunity to mock him and his slender physique. But much to his surprise, the large Candor transfer remained silent.

"Anyway," Antonio said. "In the first stage of initiation, we keep transfers and Dauntless-born initiates separate, but that doesn't mean you are evaluated separately. At the end of initiation your rankings will be determined in comparison with the Dauntless-born initiates. And they have an advantage against you because they're already better than you."

Antonio opened his mouth to continue but was cut off by the Erudite transfer with slanted eyes.

"Wait! Rankings? Why are we being ranked?" He asked.

Antonio gave an ominous smile and crossed his arms. "Your ranking serves two purposes. The first is that it will determine the order in which you will select a job after initiation. There are only a few _desirable_ jobs available."

Matthew felt nauseous at the thought of being ranked against the Dauntless-born initiates. He barely stood a chance against the other transfers, let alone the Dauntless-borns as well. Something about the way Antonio was smiling like 'the cat that caught the canary,' as his mother would say, made Matthew feel sick.

"The second reason," Antonio said, "is because only the top ten initiates are made members."

Matthew felt bile rise in his throat. The words seem to hang in the air as everyone stood stock still.

Alfred was the first to break the shocked silence, choking out a surprised, "what?"

"There are eight Dauntless-borns, and seven of you." Antonio explained. "Four initiates will be cut at the end of stage one. The remainder will be cut after the final stage."

Matthew froze, unable to absorb the information. They were going to cut five initiates. Amongst the smallest of the transfers and being from Abnegation left him at a large disadvantage.

A sickening thought occurred to Matthew as the silence dragged on, the odds that he would make it through initiation were so low that it was likely he wasn't going to be made a member.

"Wh-what," Matthew stuttered out suddenly, before he could stop himself. "What happens if you... If you get cut?"

Antonio cocked his head to the side and smiled with amusement. "You leave the Dauntless compound and live factionless."

"Oh shit." Alfred gasped, his eyes wide as he stared at Antonio.

Matthew glared down at the ground, a cold chill settled in his body. The other transfers, to his small relief, seemed just as horrified by this as he was.

"That's not fair!" The brunette Candor transfer snapped, stepping forward. "How were we supposed to know-"

"Are you saying that if you had known this before the Choosing Ceremony, you wouldn't have chosen Dauntless?" Antonio snapped, stepping up to the Candor transfer and glaring down at him. "Because if that's the case, you should get out now. If you really are one of us, it won't matter to you that you might fail. And if it does, you are a coward."

Antonio stepped away from the transfer and pushed the door to the dormitory open.

"You chose us," he said, his voice sickeningly cheerful. "Now we have to choose you."

* * *

><p>Matthew lay in bed, his cheek pressed firmly against the pillow. He listened to the sound of the other initiates breathing.<p>

Matthew wanted to reach out and find Alfred's bunk among the others. He wanted to find comfort from his brother, have Alfred reassure him that they would make it through initiation no problem. Alfred had always been a good liar.

But Alfred hadn't even looked at him once since Antonio had left them at the dorm. He had just quickly changed into the clothing the Dauntless had given them and gone to bed.

Matthew let out a small breath and slid his hand under his pillow, pulling it down and close to his chest.

_I'm going to be factionless,_ Matthew thought, _and I'm going to be alone. I should have chosen Amity._

Matthew clenched his jaw at the thought. He could easily have been in the Amity compound, making friends and singing songs but instead he was laying in the cold Dauntless dormitory. He had chosen Dauntless specifically to be with his brother who wasn't even speaking to him now.

Matthew hugged his pillow tightly, burying his face in it. He didn't know what the Dauntless initiation consisted of but knowing the Dauntless and what they had already been through it wasn't going to be easy. He would try his best, put forth his strongest effort. Even if he didn't make it through initiation, he would try his hardest.

The worst part, Matthew thought, was that his parent's would be so disappointed in him for not only choosing a faction he didn't want to be in at all but also for getting cut and becoming faction-less.

* * *

><p><strong>AUTHOR'S NOTE:<strong>

(4/17/15) Chapter revised and edited. Minimal changes made, nothing that affects the storyline.

A few bits of conversation or description were taken from the book.

I was thinking of making chapter 5 something special, like maybe having a few bits from other people's POV or something.


	5. Chapter 5: Bits and Pieces

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

Someone pointed out in a review that if Matthew is Tris, Gil is Four, Al is Cristina and then Arthur is Will. Though that is an interesting view, that's not how it is! Matt isn't supposed to be Tris or anything. He's just existing in the Divergent universe, get it? They have similar experiences, yes. But they do not live the same life that the characters in the book did.

Anyway, this chapter is a mix of things. It has some old memories, little and tween Abnegation Mattie and Al, POV changes of things that have happened already and various things like that. The first two are probably snippets of memories Matthew dreamed about the first night in the Dauntless compound!

* * *

><p><strong>Memory (little Alfred and Matthew)<strong>

"But if you aren't good and you misbehave then the monster comes out from um... From under your bed!"

"Th-that's n-not true, Alfred!" Matthew's eyes were wide as he watched his older brother grin at him.

"Do you wanna know what the monster does to kids who misbehave, Matthew?" Alfred leaned back in his chair, his eyes glinting mischeiviously.

Matthew furrowed his eyebrows. "What d-does he do...?" He asked softly.

"He waits until the bad kids have gone to sleep," Alfred said quietly, dropping his voice for an ominous effect, "Then he creeps out from under their beds..."

Alfred watched Matthew closely as the naive boy listened tentatively.

"Do you know what he does then?" Alfred asked, leaning closer to his brother who shook his head timidly. "He eats them!"

Matthew's eyes widened as he stared at Alfred, fear slowly creeping into his expression. "W-wha... Bu-but... Why?"

Alfred shrugged. "Probably because naughty kids taste the best, I think."

"But... But I'm not na-naughty." Matthew stuttered.

Alfred pursed his lips and frowned. "Everyone is naughty sometimes, Matthew. Even if you try not to be. Lying is bad and so is crying."

Matthew's eyes welled with tears and his lip wobbled. "But-but... I don't want to get eaten!"

Before Alfred could respond the door to his bedroom opened and his mother walked in, folded bedding in her hands.

She heaved a small sigh, taking in the sight before her. She moved over to the bed, setting the clean sheets aside as she sat down beside Matthew.

"Alfred," she said, "What have I told you about making up stories to scare your brother?"

Alfred pouted and crossed his arms. "I was just telling him a story, it's not even scary!"

"How many times have I told you it's wrong to make up things to frighten people, Alfred?" She put her hand on Matthew's head and stroked his hair. "Take these sheets to Matthew's room for me, okay?"

Alfred rolled his eyes as he stood and grabbed a few of the sheets from the small pile before he left the room with a grumble.

Matthew rubbed his eyes and sniffled quietly.

"You know the stories Alfred makes up aren't true, Matthew. He makes them up to entertain you." His mother said quietly, still running her hand over his hair soothingly.

"But-but" Matthew hiccuped, "The m-monster, it's scary!"

A soft, almost sad smile crossed her face. "Monsters don't exist, Matthew."

"But-but Alfred said-"

"Monsters," she stated firmly, "aren't real. They're make-believe. You can't always believe everything your brother says."

"Okay..." Matthew whimpered, looking down at his socked feet.

She pulled Matthew closer and wrapped an arm around him. "Even if there were such a thing, you know I would protect you. So would Alfred."

She gave him a small kiss on the top of his head and Matthew turned, smiling up at her.

"I'd protect you too! I'm almost as strong as Alfred!"

"Oh!" She laughed softly, brushing a stray hair back into her bun. "Of course you would! You two are my strong boys after all."

Matthew smiled up at his mother, his eyes shining brightly.

* * *

><p><strong>Memory (tween Alfred and Matthew)<strong>

"Alfred, that's dangerous!" Matthew called, watching his brother climb higher and higher.

"It's not that high, Matthew! Come up!" Alfred called down.

"Alfred, come on! You're going to fall!" Matthew stepped closer to the base of the tree, shielding his eyes from the sun as he looked up, trying to catch a glimpse of his brother through the thick foliage.

Suddenly Alfred's head popped out from the branches, a large grin plastered to his face. "I'm not even that high up. It's really cool up here, Matthew."

"What if you fall?" Matthew fretted, gripping the basket in his arm tightly.

"I won't, don't worry." Alfred shifted his weight and the branch shook slightly. Matthew bit his lip and looked around, trying to locate his parents among the rows of apple trees.

"How about this," Alfred said, grabbing Matthew's attention again. "I'll pick the best apples from up here and drop them down and you catch them. That way you don't have to climb up, okay?"

Matthew clutched the basket tightly, still worrying his lip. After a moment of silence with Alfred looking down at him expectantly, Matthew relented.

"Fine! Just please... Be careful, okay?"

Alfred laughed and nodded his head. "I will! Don't worry so much!"

Matthew just shook his head as he held the basket out to catch the falling apples.

* * *

><p><strong>Arthur's POV (<strong>**_After jumping onto the train for the first time)_**

Arthur gasped as he tried to catch his breath, one hand pressed firmly against the hard wood of the train wall to steady himself.

He had watched the Dauntless jump on and off the trains countless times and figured he'd be able to do it with little difficulties but the second it came to actually doing it, he had hesitated. If it hadn't been for the Abnegation transfer reaching out to help him, he wouldn't have made it onto the train.

He made a mental note to thank him later, _maybe with a gracious handshake or a friendly pat on the back,_ he reasoned. Arthur shook his head, he had to consider what was important now; preparing himself for what lie ahead. It wouldn't be easy, of course it wouldn't, Arthur knew this. But he was strong and he was smart and he would use his intellect to help him through initiation.

Arthur leaned against the wall and sunk down, he glanced around the noisy train car. His eyes landed on the Abnegation transfers, sitting side by side against the opposite wall. They were brothers, he knew from the ceremony but he could see that, even without the prior knowledge, they had a strong family resemblance.

Arthur found their situation curious, the chances of siblings picking the same faction during the same ceremony was rare, considering both their parents were from Abnegation. _Though_, Arthur reasoned, _there was always the possibility that their parents had transferred into Abnegation, in which case the chances were higher for them to transfer. But really, to pick the same faction had to be rare. Statistically speaking._

Arthur shook his head, there was no point in thinking like an Erudite any more. He knew he was just trying to find meaningless things to fill up the empty space in his thoughts so that he didn't have to think about what hardships he would soon have to face.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Arthur's POV (Dauntless rooftop, first jumper)<strong>_

When the Dauntless parted, the initiates were left standing awkwardly in a group. No one looked too keen on jumping the ledge first, not without the slight reassurance that someone else had done so and survived.

"Ladies first," The surly looking Candor transfer stated, shoving forward the slight Abnegation boy with curly blond hair. The Abnegation transfer jolted, his face turned red in seconds.

Arthur felt something akin to pity well up inside his chest for the kid, who currently looked like he wouldn't mind jumping off a roof all that much, if not just to hide from all the eyes on him.

The other Abnegation transfer stepped forward, shooting a glare towards the Candor boy. He sauntered over to the ledge and glanced over the side.

"I'll go first," he offered casually.

Arthur felt his eyes widen and his eyebrows raise.

"Be my guest." Mathias said, stepping back from the ledge.

Arthur watched with slight amazement as the Abnegation transfer walked back over to the group, then a few steps past them. He turned toward the ledge and pulled off his gray Abnegation jacket. Someone from the crowd wolf-whistled, but he didn't even bat an eyelash.

Arthur didn't know why, but seeing how unfazed he was by the jump was giving him courage. He made a split second decision then that he would jump second, no matter what.

"Alfred..."

Arthur looked over at the other Abnegation transfer, he looked worried, his eyebrow furrowed. He sounded like he was going to try and convince his brother not to jump but before he got the chance Alfred was running.

The next thing Arthur saw was a flurry of gray clothing and blond hair as Alfred caught his brother in his arms and heaved him over his shoulder.

"Alfred!" His brother cried out in surprise, before they disappeared over the edge of the building.

Silence rang out as the two vanished. Arthur looked at the spot where they fell, amazed.

Mathias looked vaguely impressed as he glanced over the edge and nodded. "Huh. Well. That was something." He clapped once, loudly to get their attention again, and turned back to the group. "So who's next?"

"Me!" Arthur's hand shot into the air before he could stop himself. Everyone turned to look at him and he cleared his throat while averting his eyes. "I mean, uh, I wouldn't mind... Going next."

"Eager, are we?" Mathias laughed.

Arthur's cheeks heated up and he shifted his weight from foot to foot.

"Alright, you're up." Mathias gestured behind him.

Arthur walked to the ledge and stepped up. He glanced down but couldn't see anything through the dark.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, he could feel the adrenaline pounding through his body. He felt invincible. _He was Dauntless and nothing could harm him_. He bent his knees and and licked his dry lips. Before he could lose the nerve and back out, he jumped over the edge and plunged into the waiting darkness.

Regret hit him instantly as he plunged into the dark, he heard a scream and shut his eyes tightly. The wind whipped his hair.

Arthur landed on his back, hard at first, before sinking into the mesh that cradled his body. From the sting of his throat, Arthur realized it must have been him who screamed and he began to laugh. The darkness around him filled with laughing, happy faces as his eyes adjusted to dim lighting.

Arthur continued to grin as someone helped him off the net.

_Maybe,_ he thought happily, _fitting into Dauntless wouldn't be as hard as I thought._

* * *

><p><em><strong>Arthur's POV (Dining hall entry)<strong>_

The room filled with loud cheers as the initiates walked in. Arthur beamed as everyone stood and stomped their feet, the loud voices echoed off the walls and made the ground shake. It filled Arthur with a sense of pride knowing that these people were celebrating them; the initiates. Happy that they had chosen their faction above the others.

He laughed and grinned at the others, Alfred clapped him on the back and laughed loudly. Everyone else could barely contain the pride and happiness that radiated off them.

Arthur's eyes landed on the other Abnegation transfer; Alfred's brother. His gaze was unfocused as he looked around the room, his lips pressed into a thin line. He furrowed his eyebrows as if the noise bothered him. Suddenly his eyes focused on something and he forced a grin onto his face, it looked almost painful and didn't reach his eyes.

Their eyes met and the Abnegation transfer gave him a small half smile. Arthur couldn't place it, the look on the boys face, but it was anything but joy.

They split up after that, everyone looking for a place to sit and eat. Arthur simply followed Alfred and his brother, sliding into the empty space beside Elizabeta.

Arthur grabbed a glass of water and drank it heartily, he hadn't realized how thirsty he had been until then. He looked up at the others, Elizabeta and Gilbert had grabbed food and started eating, but Alfred and his brother hadn't. They stared at the food in silence.

Arthur reached forward and grabbed one, "They're hamburgers." He stated. Alfred looked at him curiously, the other transfer looked at his brother as though he had been the one to make the comment before turning his eyes to Arthur.

Arthur cocked his head to the side, eyeing them with an eyebrow raised. "They're beef. Have you never had them before?"

Alfred shook his head with a shrug. "No." He reached out and took one, his brother mimicked him.

"Put this on it, it tastes better." Gilbert pushed a bowl of ketchup towards them.

Arthur laughed at the look on Alfred's face when he took a bite, pure bliss crossed his features. "Holy shit," Alfred groaned. "This is delicious. Where has this been my whole life?! Ugh!" He all but stuffed the remainder of the burger into his mouth, already reaching for another one.

"My name's Alfred." Said boy stated loudly, as he slathered ketchup onto his burger. Arthur glanced across the table at him, Alfred stared at him expectantly. Arthur decided not to mention that he already knew his name from the rooftop jumping incident.

Arthur swallowed the food in his mouth with a nod. "Arthur Kirkland," he responded, "Pleased to meet you."

Alfred grinned and bopped his head.

Arthur looked over at Alfred's brother, waiting for him to join in their introductions. When the slender blond remained quiet, picking at his food, Arthur cleared his throat. "And your name is...?"

The boy glanced up at him, looking slightly surprised. He opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by Alfred.

"That's my brother Matthew." Alfred smiled at him.

Arthur glanced at Matthew who nodded quietly, confirming what his brother said. "Ah, nice to meet you too."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Arthur's POV (Initiate bunks)<strong>_

Arthur exhaled slowly, trying to keep his breathing even enough to match that of the others sleeping in the room.

He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep much that night, everyone else probably wouldn't get much sleep either. Not after what they'd been told by Antonio. Ranked and forced to live factionless? The thought made Arthur's stomach clench. He'd have to make it through initiation, no matter what. It would have been hard enough before but now that everyone was a rival, he knew it'd be much harder.

Arthur rolled onto his side, the events of the evening playing over and over again in his mind. He glanced at the bed beside his, where Matthew lay facing the opposite direction.

Arthur frowned as he stared at the other transfer's back, every time he thought of or even looked at Matthew he was reminded of the look on his face earlier. The forced smile that didn't reach his eyes. Why was he so bothered by it? He didn't even know the kid, let alone care about him. If anything he should be glad Matthew didn't look comfortable here, one less person to rival against. But still, the thought nagged at him.

It hit him suddenly, the proper word to describe the unhappy look Matthew had earlier, when they entered the dining hall. He couldn't place the look in Matthew's eyes at the time, but after their dinner together, he had realized. Beneath his forced smile, Matthew looked _miserable_.

* * *

><p><strong>Gilbert's POV (<strong>_**After chatting with the Dauntless leaders)**_

Gilbert brought the glass bottle to his lips and took a long swig. They sat in one of the dark corridors of the compound, far from the hustle and bustle of the Pit. A faint blue light cast from a nearby lantern made his already pale skin appear almost translucent.

"It's just not right any more," Elizabeta shook her head. "Everything is changing so much lately."

"What do you expect?" Gilbert asked, passing the alcohol to her. "Francis has gone fucking crazy with power."

Elizabeta looked in the bottle and sighed. "I know. It's just... It's hard having to treat the initiates like they don't matter to us, one way or another."

"At least you don't have the transfers." When she didn't take a drink, Gilbert snatched the bottle from her and sipped it again.

"I wish I did." Elizabeta looked over at Gilbert seriously.

"Are you kidding me?" Gilbert gave a bark of laughter before seeing the serious look on her face. He cocked his head quizzically. "Why?"

Elizabeta shook her head and sighed again. "Some of the transfers, I guess. I just... I want them to be okay."

Gilbert took another drink, eyeing Elizabeta suspiciously. "It's those brothers, isn't it? The small one called you 'Liz' before you introduced yourself at the platform."

Elizabeta raised her eyebrows and glanced over at him. "How did you...?"

Gilbert narrowed his eyes at her. "Why are you worried about them?"

"I never said I was worried, Gil."

"I know you, Liz." Gilbert retorted. "I know you better than anyone. Now tell me why you care about those kids. You don't even know them."

"It's nothing. I don't know them. I was just curious about them... That's all." Elizabeta grabbed the bottle from him and took a large gulp.

Gilbert pursed his lips and glared at her. "I want to know what you know about them, Liz."

"We should get to bed soon. Got a big day tomorrow, first day of initiation and what not." Elizabeta stood up and brushed her pants clean of dust.

"Liz, come on. Don't be like that." Gilbert rose and finished off the alcohol, tossing the empty bottle to the ground, leaving it for someone else to clean up later on.

"G'night, Gilbert! Sleep tight." She called over her shoulder as she quickly strode away.

Gilbert grunted in response and shook his head, not looking forward to the next day in the slightest. Elizabeta's reluctance to answer his questions nagged at the back of his mind as he headed back to his room, his head dizzy and buzzing from the alcohol.

* * *

><p><strong>AUTHOR'S NOTE:<strong>

(5/12/15) Chapter revised and edited. Minimal changes made, nothing that affects the storyline.

So it says in the book that the Abnegation help the Amity with apple picking when they need help, so that's where they are in the second memory.

Arthur's parts are a little redundant but I thought we should see what he was thinking about while everything was happening.

Next chapter will have the first day of initiation. I have changed a few of the things they do and the order in which they happen so it suits my ideas better.


	6. Chapter 6: Outsider

Matthew rubbed his tired eyes and struggled to suppress a yawn. He, along with the other transfers, stood in a room full of targets; square pieces of plywood with three red circles on them. Matthew noted there was one for each initiate and their instructor.

Gilbert moved around the room, pressing a gun into the hands of everyone. Matthew was the last to receive his and without even acknowledging him Gilbert moved back to stand in the centre of the room, in front of the targets. He turned to face them.

"Today," Gilbert said, "You will be learning how to fire a gun."

Matthew looked down at the gun in his hands. It was heavier than he had thought it would be. The cold metal was smooth and bulky in his grip. He thought briefly that this gun had probably been in the hands of many initiates, many who were now Dauntless members and many who might just be factionless.

_This gun,_ he thought, _might have killed someone before._ Matthew felt a shiver run up his spine and he quickly turned his attention back to Gilbert.

"This afternoon you will learn how to win a fight. The fact that you are all here means that you know how to get on and off a moving train and, lucky for me, I don't have to teach you that."

Gilbert glanced at each initiate in turn, letting his eyes take in their appearances as he spoke. "Initiation is divided into three stages. We will measure your progress and rank you according to your performance in each stage. The stages are not weighed equally in determining your final rank, so it is possible, though extremely difficult, to drastically improve your rank over time."

Matthew swallowed thickly as he recalled what Antonio had told them the night before, that only the best of the initiates were accepted, that they would be competing for ranks. "_You chose us, now we have to choose you._" The words rang through his head like an echo and he felt the familiar ache of anxiety building in his stomach.

"Here in Dauntless, we believe that preparation eradicates cowardice, which we define as the failure to act in the midst of fear." Gilbert's eyes landed on Matthew and he stared him hard in the eyes. "Therefore each stage of initiation is intended to prepare you in a different way. The first stage is primarily physical; the second primarily emotional; the third, primarily mental." Finally he looked back to the group as a whole.

"Anything I teach you might be valuable information to have in later stages." He glared hard at Ivan when he yawned. "So I recommend you listen well and remember every little thing I teach you."

Gilbert turned toward the wall with the targets and popped his neck from side to side. "Now," He said slowly, "Watch me."

Gilbert stood with his feet apart, almost level with his shoulder length, and held the gun with both hands. He took a small breath and pulled the trigger. The bang was startlingly loud, Matthew nearly wanted to cover his ears though it was too late for that and he was left with an unpleasant ringing in them.

Gilbert stepped away from the targets and turned back to the group, crossing his arms over his chest. There was a single bullet hole in the middle circle of his target. "Now, go."

Matthew turned to his own target. He really didn't want to shoot the gun, it made him uncomfortable to say the least. He had learned, back in Abnegation, that guns are used for self-defence, if not violence, and were self-serving. They weren't something to be used so carelessly.

The room filled with the sound of guns going off as the other initiates tried to hit the centre of their targets. Some of them were chatting with one another while they fired, but most remained silent. The brunette Candor transfer swore loudly each time his bullets missed the target and then called his gun unseemly names.

Matthew glanced around the room until his eyes landed on Alfred, who stood almost exactly as Gilbert had. He held the gun perfectly straight, and squinted one eye slightly, taking careful aim.

Alfred, Matthew noticed, wore the Dauntless clothing so casually, as if it were nothing to him, as though he had been wearing their dark, black clothing since he was born. How he could so easily dispose of something that had been such a big part of their lives, Matthew didn't know. What he did know was that Alfred looked ridiculous in the clothing; the tight jeans, the black t-shirt and the dark boots. He looked completely unlike himself and it looked stupid. But Matthew knew that was a lie, the clothing actually suited Alfred better than the dull Abnegation gray ever had.

"Matthew!" A sudden yell from behind him made him jump. And he quickly averted his attention to Gilbert, who was glaring down at him. "You're holding a loaded gun; a deadly, lethal weapon. Act like it!"

Matthew stared at Gilbert with wide eyes and nodded his head quickly. "S-sorry," He mumbled quietly.

"Pay attention," Gilbert said, grabbing Matthew's shoulders and turning him towards the targets.

Arthur, who was shooting at the target beside him watched them from the corner of his eye.

Gilbert slid his hands down Matthew's shoulders to his upper arms and lifted them. Matthew clasped the gun tightly between both hands and shifted his legs until they were apart.

As steadily as he tried to hold the gun, he realized he was shaking. Enough that he knew Gilbert was able to tell.

Gilbert kept his hands on Matthew's upper arms and squeezed them slightly. He leaned close to Matthew's ear and spoke quietly. "Take a deep breath and calm down. Don't shoot until you're holding the gun steady."

Matthew's face was red as he nodded his head. Gilbert released his arms and stepped back, standing behind Matthew he waited silently for him to shoot.

Without Gilbert holding his arm's up, Matthew realised how heavy and hard it was to lift the gun away from his body.

Matthew struggled to swallow, his throat suddenly felt tight. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, his shaking calmed slightly and he moved his finger to the trigger. Hesitantly he squeezed it, adding more force when it barely shifted. The gun fired and the sound hurt his ears. The recoil sent the gun back towards Matthew's face and he stumbled back from the force.

His back bumped into Gilbert's chest and Gilbert put his hand on Matthew's shoulder to steady him.

"Not bad for a stiff," Gilbert commented his voice taking a sudden condescending tone, while looking at Matthew's still intact target. "But next time you should actually try to aim for the target."

With that Gilbert turned and went to observe the other initiates. Matthew let out a small breath and looked back at his target. He had no clue where his bullet went, but it definitely wasn't anywhere near the target.

Arthur turned his head toward Matthew and smiled slightly. Matthew noticed that Arthur's front teeth were a bit crooked, just slightly off, but in a charming way that somehow suited the rest of Arthur's face.

Matthew gave him a small smile back.

"Matthew!" Gilbert called again, glaring over at him. "You aren't going to hit your target if you don't actually shoot!"

Matthew grimaced and quickly lifted his gun again, taking a moment to get into the shooting stance.

He spared a small glance over at Arthur and muttered, "I wonder if it's possible to suffocate yourself by holding your breath. Because honestly, right now, I would not be opposed to trying."

Arthur snorted and laughed quietly before shaking his head. "It's not possible to suffocate yourself like that. You would pass out from lack of oxygen and the moment you pass out, you would start breathing again. If anything," He said with a small grin, "You would just look extremely silly."

Matthew shrugged one shoulder. "Well, it was a nice thought at least."

"I can understand why you would want to though," Arthur commented, "He really isn't the friendliest instructor."

Matthew glanced at Gilbert, who was pointing to another transfer's target, most likely belittling them, Matthew figured. For a moment he watched the way Gilbert's muscles moved as he demonstrated how to properly lift and hold the gun.

With a small blush he turned back to his target, took a deep breath and fired his gun.

* * *

><p>It took three more shots before Matthew hit his target for the first time, and six rounds to hit the middle.<p>

Matthew still didn't like the violent aspect of the gun, but he had to admit, it felt empowering to control something that could do so much damage.

And, much to his surprise, he was a decent shot. Once he had gotten the hang of it, he had hit the inner circles of the target more often than not.

Gilbert announced it was time for lunch and everyone left the training room, Matthew tailed behind them rubbing his sore arms. It was surprisingly painful to hold up a gun for so long.

Matthew sat down at an empty table and poured himself a glass of water, his appetite still hadn't come back and he didn't feel very hungry. He sipped his water as others began to sit at the table.

Arthur slid into the seat beside him and instantly began making himself a sandwich from the various foods laid across the table.

"How come you're not sitting with your brother?" He asked, taking a bite of his sandwich.

Matthew hesitated. "Oh. Um, I don't know." He sipped his water for a moment before adding, "I didn't really see where he went when everyone left for lunch."

Arthur cocked his head to side, and Matthew glanced in that direction. Alfred sat with Ivan and the transfer with the dreadlocks. Matthew grimaced and looked back at Arthur.

"I don't really get along with Ivan so I think I'll just stay here." He muttered.

"Christ!" Arthur laughed, shaking his head. "No one gets along with Ivan, he's a bastard. That's why I came and sat over here with you." Arthur hesitated a moment before adding, "No offence."

Matthew shook his head. "None taken."

Arthur smiled awkwardly and took another bite of his sandwich.

Two other transfers came and sat down with them. Arthur glanced at them when they sat down.

The boy with the slanted eyes and dark hair grinned at him. "Yo, Art. What's up?"

Arthur greeted him with a nod before turning his head to the brunette Candor transfer. "What's up, Lovino? Don't want to sit with your Candor friends?"

"Fuck off," Lovino snapped, picking up his own sandwich. "And they aren't my friends."

"Well, excuse me." Arthur muttered sarcastically. Matthew glanced between them for a moment before Arthur pointed at the other transfer. "Matthew, do you know Im Yong Soo?"

"Uh," Matthew looked over at the boy, who grinned at him. "No, I don't."

"Well, now you do." Arthur said, finishing off his sandwich. "Im Yong Soo, this is Matthew."

"Nice to meet ya!" He greeted.

Matthew nodded his head and glanced at the Candor transfer, who was aggressively biting into his sandwich and chewing it like it had insulted him.

"That's Lovino, he's a bit of an asshole so I wouldn't bother trying to be his friend if I were you," Arthur said, a grin spreading across his face.

Lovino levelled him with a glare and swallowed the food in his mouth with a rather painful looking gulp. "No one asked you, Arthur." He turned to Matthew, "Don't let some cocky Erudite know-it-all corrupt your views of other people. I'm not an asshole, I'm just honest."

"Honestly rude," Arthur muttered.

Matthew smiled lightly and sipped his water again.

"You don't talk much, do you?" Lovino asked, looking Matthew up and down.

Matthew opened his mouth and then closed it again, at a lose for words. He shrugged his shoulders. "Uh... I don't know, I guess not."

Lovino raised an eyebrow. "Well, I guess there's a reason you didn't pick Erudite."

Matthew felt his cheeks beginning to heat up in embarrassment as he looked down at his drink. He had never been good at talking with people outside of his family, even at school he had always sat with Alfred.

"Oh!" Im Yong Soo suddenly spoke up, turning to Lovino. "Guess what I heard? There are some rumours going around that there's a Divergent here!"

"Wait, what?" Lovino asked, setting his sandwich on his plate.

"Yeah, they- a group of older Dauntless- were talking about it earlier, I was walking behind them. Apparently some of the aptitude tests came out kinda messed up or were erased completely or something and then the person with the messed up results picked Dauntless. Crazy, huh?" Im Yong Soo shook his head. "Super crazy."

Lovino picked up his sandwich and picked at it slightly. "It's just a rumour, I doubt there actually is one here."

Matthew glanced between them as they spoke before turning towards Arthur who was looking at another table, drinking his water.

"Arthur?" Matthew asked quietly.

"Hmm?" Arthur turned back and looked Matthew over with his bright emerald eyes.

"What does 'Divergent' mean?" He asked.

Arthur raised his eyebrows and looked genuinely surprised. "You don't know?"

Matthew shook his head with a frown. "I've never heard of it."

"Well," Arthur paused to think for a moment before shaking his head, "It's stupid, really. Just some monster type story made up to scare people. It's nothing important, Matthew. If I were you, I'd be glad I didn't know."

"Oh." Matthew said quietly, remembering the types of stories Alfred used to tell him as a child, about monsters that ate people and lived in the dark. Maybe it was better that he didn't know, because he was sick of monsters and fear. "Okay."

Arthur glanced at him, clearly expecting more of a fight for answers.

* * *

><p>After lunch, Gilbert lead the transfers to a new room. The room was huge, with a wooden floor that was cracked and creaky. A large circle was painted in the middle. Across the left wall was a chalkboard, Matthew looked at it with interest, he hadn't seen one since his Lower Levels teacher used one. Matthew realized it must have something to do with Dauntless priorities: training came first, technology came second.<p>

On the chalkboard, their names were written in alphabetical order. Matthew figured the name "Carlos" must belong to the Candor transfer with the dreadlocks, the only transfer whose name he didn't know prior. Matthew's name was after Lovino's and last on the list. Alfred's was first.

Hanging at three foot intervals across one end of the room were faded black punching bags. Everyone lined up behind them and Gilbert stood in the middle, where he could be seen by everyone.

"I told you earlier," Gilbert spoke loudly and clearly, "That you would be learning how to fight. The purpose of this is to prepare you to act; to prepare your body to respond to threats and challenges- which you will need, if you intend to survive life as a Dauntless."

Matthew locked eyes with Gilbert and looked away, staring intently at his punching bag. The feeling that he had made a big mistake in choosing Dauntless ate at his nerves. He could never survive here.

"Today, I'm going to teach you various techniques and tips that will help you win a fight. Tomorrow you will fight one another."

Matthew glanced up and felt his stomach muscles clench. He didn't want to fight someone else, he couldn't imagine potentially hurting another person. He had never hit or been hit by another person in his life and really, he thought, he'd like to keep it that way.

"So I recommend you pay very close attention, those who don't learn fast will get hurt." Gilbert punctuated the last words carefully, looking closely at the initiates.

Gilbert named various punches and demonstrated, first with the air, then with the punching bag. Matthew couldn't help but stare at the way Gilbert moved and held himself. He made every action look simple and easy, like a dance almost.

They practised the punches first, Matthew realized that the material of a punching bag stung badly against skin when you weren't used to it. He watched as the other's punched their bags. Ivan's bag swung almost violently with each hit, while other's, like Arthur's and Matthew's, barely even moved.

Matthew pulled his hands away and shook them, his skin was red from the tough fabric.

Gilbert stopped everyone and taught them some basic kicks, where to aim, how to properly lift the leg. "Kicks are less likely to come in handy during a fight, so try to pay closer attention to your punches."

As they went through the movements again, Gilbert weaved his way through the throng of initiates, watching each of them for a moment before offering advice and moving on.

He stopped at Lovino and demonstrated how to do an uppercut, aiming for the chin or jaw that seemed to suit Lovino's arm strength better than a normal punch. Lovino let out a stream of celebratory curse words when the punching bag shuddered and jumped from his hit.

Matthew felt himself beginning to blush when Gilbert stopped in front of his bag and watched him. He could feel Gilbert's eyes moving over his body, taking in each movement and twist. Matthew was relatively glad that his clothing was too big and baggy for it to show any sort of distinction in his size. He knew Gilbert's gaze was that of a teacher, practical and scientific, trying to figure out how to improve the method. But he couldn't help but feel self concious about having someone looking at him so intently, especially when no one had ever looked at him like that before.

Matthew moved through the various punches until Gilbert stepped closer and grabbed his upper arms, like he had earlier. Matthew glanced over his shoulder slightly, hoping Gilbert would let go and move on without another word.

"I noticed earlier when I grabbed your arms," Gilbert said, squeezing slightly. "You don't have much muscle, not that I expect much from a stiff." He slid his hands down to Matthews forearms and pulled them up, bending Matthew's elbows out. "You'd be better off using your elbows and knees in a fight. You can put more power behind them."

Matthew nodded his head, keeping it ducked so Gilbert couldn't see his face. Gilbert's hands suddenly moved to Matthew's waist, his hands were large and he could easily hold Matthew's sides.

"It's hard to tell," Gilbert said quietly. "Because your clothing is so big, but you don't have much muscle around your ribs or stomach either."

Just like with his arms, Gilbert squeezed him slightly and Matthew felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest, his face was unbearably hot and he thought he might be sweating.

"It would be bad, in a fight, if you fall. A kick or two to this area," Gilbert laid his hand flat against Matthew's lower ribs, "Could easily break some ribs and cause a big disadvantage. Try to stay on your feet no matter what and always keep as much tension there as possible."

Gilbert stepped back and moved to stand in front of them all again. "Remember," He said loudly, "You can not win a fight if you are on the ground. If you fall, get back up."

* * *

><p>Matthew stretched out his aching muscles and glanced around the darkening hallways. He had been hoping to chat with Alfred after they were dismissed for the evening, but much to his displeasure, it seemed as though Alfred was avoiding him.<p>

Given the fact he couldn't find Alfred, he had decided upon wandering around the Dauntless compound, trying to familiarize himself with the place. But that plan had gone to hell the moment he wandered down a hallway that didn't look familiar. No matter how much he tried to right himself, he was lost.

Rounding another corner he heard the sound of approaching footsteps and then a woman's laugh followed closely by a deeper, slightly grating laugh, clearly belonging to a man. Matthew stopped and leaned against the wall, wondering if they would be courteous Dauntless members and help him find his way back to salvation.

His breath caught in his throat when the duo rounded the corner, Gilbert was walking with Liz at his side, she slapped his arm and laughed again. Gilbert had a large smile on his face and Matthew thought he had never seen Gilbert look so handsome before. He was horrified when he caught himself thinking that and was tempted to hide. He looked from side to side quickly, debating whether he should just run away so he wouldn't ruin their moment or not. Before he could make up his mind, the steps stopped and he timidly glanced over at them. They stood barely a meter away.

Liz smiled warmly at Matthew and Gilbert's previous smile had melted into a frown. He shifted uncomfortably under their gazes.

"Matthew!" Liz exclaimed, coming closer. "What are you doing down here?"

"Um," Matthew hesitated and glanced around again. "Sight seeing?" He said lamely.

Liz laughed. "Not the best place to see what the Dauntless compound has to offer."

"What are you really doing down here?" Gilbert asked, coming forward as well.

"I-I got lost," Matthew said, embarrassed by how much he sounded like a child.

"Where were you headed?" Liz asked.

"Not really... Anywhere." Matthew realized how suspicious that sounded and quickly shook his head. "I mean, I just- I was looking for Alfred first but I couldn't find him so I ended up just walking around trying to get used to where everything is and I ended up here..."

Gilbert stepped around them and began walking down the hall. "Come on, we're going to get dinner."

Liz and Matthew followed after him. Liz smiled at Matthew and asked him a few questions about how training went, to which Matthew responded "Good," "Fine," and "Not bad," to, no matter how much of a lie it was.

* * *

><p>Matthew sat alone at dinner. After thanking Gilbert and Liz, he quickly hurried away from them and got a small plate of food. He picked at the vegetables, eating a few here and there and took a small bite from his dinner roll, but still the anxiety of what was yet to come overpowered his appetite.<p>

His thoughts were a constant rush of fears, anxieties and 'what-ifs'. He hadn't even noticed he had gone back to the dorms until he was sitting there in the dark, the sounds of the other transfers breathing and snoring filled the room. He had completely lost himself in thought for long he wondered what time it was.

The day of strenuous training caught up with him and he felt his eyes burning for sleep. Matthew stripped out of his Abnegation jacket and pants, leaving on his large gray t-shirt and briefs, sleeping in his clothing the other night had been uncomfortable and he figured he could just change back into them when no one was around. He folded his clothing neatly and stuck them in the small trunk each initiate was given to keep their belongings in.

Matthew crawled under the covers and rested his head against the pillow. Before sleep could take him he raised his head and quietly whispered, "Goodnight Alfred."

Just as he was drifting out of conciousness, he could have sworn he heard a faint voice murmur, "Goodnight, Matthew."

But, he knew, that could easily have been a trick played by his subconscious as he slipped into a deep, heavy sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>AUTHORS NOTE:<strong>

Hello everyone, thanks for reading the new chapter! I finally explained who all the transfers are (did you guess them correctly?)!

Quick apology: I've never written for Im Yong Soo before so I'm sorry if he's sorta OOC.

This was a bit rushed but I wanted to get it out before July. Review if you want; opinions of the story, guesses of what might happen, what do you ship, anything!

(I don't own Hetalia or Divergent obviously)

See you next chapter! Bye-bye!


	7. Chapter 7: Far From Home

Matthew awoke before the other initiates, his arms sore from the previous days training. Quickly Matthew dressed himself, he zipped his jacket up as he exited the room, the other initiate were slowly beginning to rise.

After grabbing a muffin and nibbling on it as he went, Matthew made his way to the training room. He stopped outside the room, unsure of whether he was allowed inside before eight o'clock.

"You're a bit early," Came the voice that was becoming so familiar to him, "We don't start for another twenty minutes."

Matthew turned and looked up at Gilbert, who was running a hand lazily through his bed head.

"Ah, well..." Matthew looked down at the barely touched muffin in his hand. "I woke up early."

"I see." Gilbert leaned against the wall beside Matthew. "Do you mind?" He asked, his hand reaching towards the muffin.

"Be my guest," Matthew said, holding it out to him. Gilbert grinned, flashing his sharp white teeth, and broke off a piece of the top. He popped it into his mouth and chewed it.

"How are feeling today?" Gilbert asked, taking another piece of the muffin.

"Sore." Matthew responded, holding the muffin out for Gilbert to take. "I'm not really hungry, you can have the rest." He added.

Gilbert took the muffin from him with a shrug and peeled the wrapper off slowly. "The worst has yet to come." Gilbert said softly, looking down at the wrapper in his hands. "From here on out, Matthew, you are going to get hurt, everyone is."

Gilbert squeezed the wrapper in his fist and glared at the wall across from them. "I hope you understand that."

"I figured initiation would be something like that here." Matthew gripped his arm and tried to avoid looking at Gilbert, his heart raced each time their eyes locked.

"It's changed, you know." Gilbert said seriously, turning to look Matthew straight in the face. "All of it. With the new leadership came a whole new initiation process."

"O-oh?" Matthew glanced up at Gilbert and felt his cheeks heat up at their close proximity.

Gilbert ran his hand through his hair again and opened his mouth to speak. The sound of approaching footsteps halted his words and Gilbert turned to the door. "Good luck today, Stiff." He eyed Matthew as he opened the door. "You're going to need it."

Matthew opened his mouth to retort but closed it again when he saw Alfred approaching the training room with Arthur, the two having a whispered conversation.

"There you are, Matthew!" Arthur said as they reached him. "You disappeared before anyone else was awake."

Matthew shrugged one shoulder.

Arthur raised his eyebrows. "Well, whatever." He glanced over at Alfred, who shoved the rest of his toast into his mouth and chewed it slowly. "Are you guys ready for today? Gilbert said we were going to be fighting each other."

Alfred swallowed and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. "It can't be that bad."

Once all the initiates arrived, they entered the room.

Gilbert stood beside the chalkboard, his arms crossed. Francis stood in front of it, brushing chalk dust from his hands. He turned when they entered and gave them a smile that made Matthew's stomach churn with dread.

"Good morning, initiates." Francis clasped his hands together in front of him. "I'm sure you remember who I am, so introductions aren't necessary." He tilted his chin slightly, "Here in Dauntless, we take initiation very seriously. For that reason I, or one of the other leaders, will be overseeing most of your training."

Matthew felt his blood run cold. Initiation was going to be hard enough but the fact the leaders would be there watching made him feel even more nervous about it.

"If you're done now I would like to get on with today's lesson. Or should I continue to put off training them?" Gilbert asked, his head tilted to the side in mock sincerity.

Francis gave him an amused smile and waved a hand toward the initiates. "Be my guest," He said, his voice smooth as honey.

Gilbert visibly grimaced at his words before turning to the group. He stepped away from the chalkboard and looked at them. "As I told you yesterday, today you will be fighting one another. Because there are an odd number of you," He gave a pointed look to Alfred, "One of you won't be fighting today."

Matthew glanced at the board and felt as though someone had stolen all the air from his lungs. Clearly printed beside his name was Ivan's.

"Oh no," Arthur muttered, looking at the board with concerned eyes. "Are they seriously going to make you fight him?"

Matthew swallowed thickly and glanced at Gilbert, who was staring intently at the board, his jaw clenched tightly.

Gilbert took a deep breath. "Everyone stretch. We're going to start in three minutes."

Matthew turned to Arthur, looking paler than usual.

Arthur pulled Matthew over to the side of the training room, the two of them took a seat together, stretching like Gilbert instructed.

"I can't believe they're going to make _you_ fight_ him_. That's completely unfair." Arthur shook his head. "Ivan is pure evil. When were younger he would pick fights with people from other factions, including me, and when an adult came to break it up, he'd cry and make up some story about how the other kid started it. They always believed him, of course, because he was Candor and they can't lie." Arthur let out a bitter laugh. "What a crock of shit."

Matthew remained quiet as they finished their stretching and moved back to the board with the other initiates.

"As I'm overseeing your training today, I took the liberty of deciding who was going to fight who." Francis explained, his blond hair framed his face, the slight curls looked perfectly placed. His eyes gleamed as he looked at Matthew. "Our first fight will be between Ivan and Matthew." He gestured to the arena.

"That doesn't seem like a fair fight to me," Alfred snapped from behind them. Matthew glanced back at him but Alfred kept his eyes locked onto Francis.

"A fight is a fight and a win is a win. Who you are up against doesn't matter so long as you win." Francis explained, his voice bored.

"That's ridiculous, what's the point of beating someone up? We're in the same faction!" Alfred looked incredulous.

"How are the fights scored?" Arthur asked, interrupting them. "When do they end?"

Francis turned his eyes to Arthur and glared at him. "The fight ends when one of you is unable to continue."

"'Unable to continue'? What the fuck does that mean?" Lovino asked, his eyebrows knit.

"Physically unable to fight any longer." Francis snapped.

Gilbert stepped forward. "According to Dauntless rules, one of you could also concede."

Francis narrowed his eyes at Gilbert. "No one concedes." He said firmly. "The new rules clearly state that."

"A brave man acknowledges the strength of others," Gilbert countered.

"A brave man never surrenders." Francis argued, he turned back to the initiates. "The rules also state that there will be a punishment for anyone who concedes."

Gilbert's face was red with anger and he looked as though he wanted nothing more than to beat Francis unconscious.

Matthew felt like he was going to vomit as he watched them go back and forth. No matter what Gilbert had to say or what points he argued he couldn't win against Francis, who held the most authority. He glanced timidly at Ivan, who remained passive, his face showing no emotion to their words.

Alfred grabbed Matthew's shoulder and leaned close to his ear. "Just take a few hits and pretend to go unconscious or something." He said firmly, his eyes still narrowed at Francis.

Matthew shrugged off Alfred's hand and looked toward the arena. "Maybe," He whispered, his voice soft. Irritation flowed through his body as he moved toward the arena. His own brother had no confidence in his ability to protect himself. He realized he was slightly hurt that Alfred would rather he give up easily than actually try and win against Ivan.

Matthew eyed Ivan up and down as he approached the arena. Ivan was nearly a foot taller than Matthew and he was at least twice as broad.

Gilbert turned to the initiates watching the fight, they had spread themselves around the training room to watch. "Today you should all watch and learn. Take note of how each of you fight, you never know who you will fight against. Learn their strengths and then exploit your opponents weaknesses."

Matthew raked his eyes over Ivan. Aside from his complete lack of likeable qualities, Ivan didn't seem to have an weaknesses that Matthew could easily identify.

He felt his stomach twist in fear. He didn't even get to watch anyone else fight before he was thrown into the ring. He had never fought anyone in his life.

Ivan brought his hands up to his face and stood with his legs apart and his knees slightly bent. To protect themselves against their opponents blows, Gilbert had taught them the stance yesterday.

Ivan looked like a bear about to pounce. A cruel smirk crossed his face. "This should be easy."

Matthew's hands visibly shook as he held them up by his face, his elbows bent.

"Scared, Stiff?" Ivan teased, his eyes flickered over Matthew's small, slender form. "I would be if I were you."

Matthew struggled to swallow as he tried to keep his arms straight.

They slowly circled one another, Ivan jeering at Matthew the whole time. "Maybe you should just concede now, Stiff. Save me the hassle of beating you up."

Francis glanced at his watch with a frown. "Do you think I have all day? This isn't a game." He yelled. "Fight each other!"

Ivan lunged at Matthew who ducked, barely avoiding being crushed by Ivan's muscled arms. Matthew bolted around Ivan and stood behind him, bouncing from foot to foot as Ivan righted himself and spun around with a growl of frustration.

Over Ivan's shoulder Matthew saw the door to the training room open and a young man with deeply tanned skin entered, his golden brown eyes searched the room quickly before landing on the arena.

He realized, too late, that the small distraction would cost him greatly as a sudden punch caught him in the ribs and he found himself on his hands and knees struggling to breath.

Matthew forced himself to stand quickly, he wobbled slightly as pain rang through his ribs when he straightened up. Ivan moved forward, quickly throwing another punch. Matthew dodged and slipped around Ivan, using as much force as he could, he kicked Ivan in the side. Ivan barely acknowledged it, giving just a small grunt of irritation before turning to Matthew.

Ivan's arm seemingly twitched and pain stabbed through Matthew's jaw and spread across his face. His vision went black for a moment and his ears rang. Matthew stumbled back, not recalling having seen Ivan's fist coming toward him.

With Matthew distracted again, Ivan kicked him in the stomach. Matthew choked out a small gasp, his breath caught in his throat. He fell to one knee but quickly forced himself onto his feet again, the room swayed around him.

Ivan moved quickly, aiming another punch to Matthew's jaw. Matthew lifted his arms over his face, barely blocking the punch in time. Pain shot through his forearms and he stumbled back again, moving away from Ivan as far as the arena allowed.

Ivan closed in, lifting his arm as though he were going to punch him again. Before Matthew could dodge or block, Ivan grabbed his shoulders and pulled him closer, ramming his knee hard into Matthew's stomach.

Matthew fell to his hands and knees. Gilbert's words from the day before rang through Matthew's head as he scrambled to get back on his feet. "_You can not win a fight if you are on the ground. If you fall, get back up._"

Matthew wobbled on his feet, staggering forward. Ivan moved forward again, too quickly for Matthew to keep up with him. Ivan grabbed Matthew's hair with one hand, roughly pulling it in his fist, forcing Matthew to look up at him. Instinctively Matthew threw out a fist, actually catching Ivan's jaw. It was barely powerful enough to phase him, Ivan pulled his own fist back and punched Matthew in the nose.

The pain was unlike the first, less like a stab and more like a crackle. It crackled through his head, his body, his brain. His vision spotted with flickering lights and the edges of his vision became black. Everything around Matthew blurred and danced out of focus.

Ivan released him and Matthew fell to his hands and knees again. His hand landed in something warm, thick and wet. Focusing he realized it must be blood. _Get back up_, a familiar voice in his head demanded.

Matthew slowly dragged himself back to him feet, the room was spinning, Ivan was spinning. Nothing stood still. Matthew brushed his hand across his mouth, he could feel a steady warmth trickling down his face and over his lips. He staggered back a step and his foot slipped out from under him. He landed on his bottom was a groan. He thought Ivan had swiped his feet out from under him until he realized he had just slipped in his own blood.

_Get back up_, the deep voice commanded. Matthew slowly lifted himself again. Over the constant ringing in his ears, he thought he could hear faint voices. A deep, cruel laugh overpowered the words of the others and Matthew tried to focus solely on the Ivan coloured blur that was spinning around him.

Something hard smacked Matthew's ear and his vision went completely black. The ringing had returned full force in his ears and he tried to blink his vision back to normal. Matthew struck out with his fists, not really aiming for anything so much as hoping he hit something. His fist collided with something soft and Ivan grunted.

Pain shot through Matthew's face again, he heard a small yelp and wondered who made the noise. His face pressed against something cool and hard and he nearly laughed when he figured out it was him who had yelped and he was somehow on the ground again but he wasn't sure how.

He forced his eyes opened and they slowly focused on forming shapes that seemed so far away from him. Arthur and Alfred; standing to the side of the arena. Arthur was covering his mouth with his hand, his eyes wide then squeezed tightly shut. Alfred had his back to Matthew, not watching the fight. He must have had less confidence in Matthew than he had assumed. He wished his brother would look at him and smile his hero smile, make him feel better about the slowly growing blood stain under his face.

_On your feet_, the voice reminded him. It was quieter than before and less demanding. _Maybe it was tired_, Matthew thought. He tried to lift himself to his hands and knees, his body shook with the effort. Something hard hit Matthew in the stomach and he collapsed again, hitting his face against the once cool floor.

A small whine of protest escaped his throat and Matthew thought about how nice it would be if he could go to sleep. He whimpered as his arms slowly wrapped around his head, pain shot through his ribcage like electricity and he cried out, trying to curl in on himself.

Another kick to his stomach and though Matthew wanted to pull himself up again, he couldn't force his arms away from protecting his head, he coughed violently as he struggled with himself. His body wanted to stay on the cool ground but his mind raced and pulsed with adrenaline. _You can not win a fight if you are on the ground_.

More pain rang through his ribcage and he sobbed out unintelligible words. The lights that had been blinking in Matthew's eyes went out and his mind was encased in darkness.

"Stop!" A deep voice yelled, "That's enough! You're done!"

Matthew tried to cling to the voice and pull himself away from the dark but the temptation was too great and he felt himself slipping unconscious.

His last thought was that the handsome, tanned young man who came in had seen him get his ass kicked and Gilbert had seen it happen as well and probably thought he was a weak Abnegation crybaby.

* * *

><p>"Is his eye black already?" A voice whistled. "That's gonna leave a nasty bruise."<p>

"Obviously." Another voice snapped. "I'd be surprised if it didn't."

Matthew turned his head to the voices and tried to roll onto his side, a groan of pain escaped his lips. The voices hushed instantly.

Matthew tried to open his eyes. He blinked repeatedly, his left eye refused to open and felt like it had been glued shut. Slowly the room around him came into focus and he squinted against the bright lights.

His head felt fuzzy, as though it were packed full of cotton balls or static. He blinked, trying to think straight.

He sat up slightly, groaning at the dull ache that resounded through his body. He knew whatever it was that was making it hard to think straight was also keeping most of the pain at bay, and he was glad for that.

Arthur and Im Yong Soo sat at the foot of his bed, one on either side. Im Yong Soo had his chin propped in his hand and Arthur sat with his legs crossed, holding an ice pack against his nose and mouth, his hair looked wet.

"Arthur!" Matthew's one eye widened, his voice laced with concern. "What happened?"

Im Yong Soo snorted and laughed. "Are you for real? Look who's talking."

Matthew hesitantly pulled his hand up and prodded his face, he flinched when he felt the swollen skin around his eye.

Arthur sat up and pulled the ice pack from his face. He scooted forward and gently pressed it against Matthew's eye.

Matthew flinched away from the cold at first but slowly relaxed against it, the coolness numbed the dull pain the medicine hadn't taken away.

Glancing around, Matthew found the room he was in was narrow and long, it had a row of beds on either side. Some of the beds had curtains between them. On the right side of the room there was a nurse's station. Matthew realized this must have been the place where the Dauntless went when they got injured. A short man with long black hair tied up in a ponytail and slanted eyes sat at the station with a clipboard, he glanced up at them before returning to his work. Some Dauntless must volunteer to do jobs traditionally done by other factions, Matthew thought, after all, it wouldn't make sense for the Dauntless to make the trek to the city hospital every time they got hurt.

"What happened?" Matthew asked, turning his attention back to Arthur, his mouth felt dry and chalky as he spoke.

"Between you getting completely wrecked by Ivan and Arthur's punishment for conceding, I'd have to say a lot has happened today." Im Yong Soo said, picking at his fingernails. "You'll need to be more specific with your questions."

Arthur shoved Im Yong Soo with his free arm, being careful not to move the icepack from Matthew's face. "Don't be an ass, you saw that fight. We're damn lucky he still knows his own name after that."

Arthur turned back to Matthew and smiled lightly, his eyes dull. "It was really hard to watch your fight."

"Because I suck?" Matthew asked softly, his lips felt tight when he moved them.

"No," Arthur shook his head, "Because it's hard to just sit there and watch someone get beaten up so badly and not be allowed to help."

Matthew nodded lightly. "Who did you fight?"

Arthur clenched his jaw. "Carlos."

They sat in silence for a moment, Matthew unsure of what was going on and Arthur looking away, his lips pale as he pressed them into a tight line.

"You have to tell him, you know. Francis said it was a warning." Im Yong Soo prompted Arthur quietly.

"I know," Arthur hissed, shooting him a dirty look. He grabbed Matthew's hand and lifted it, he set the ice pack into his hand and guided it back to his face.

Matthew held the ice pack to his eye and looked at Arthur with concern. "Did something happen, Arthur?"

Arthur ran his hands through his damp hair with a sigh. Finally he settled for resting his chin in his hand, his elbows balanced on his knees.

"I fought Carlos right after you fought Ivan." Arthur explained, "I hit him a few times but he managed to tackle me, and kept hitting my face."

Matthew sat up more, groaning slightly. He let the ice pack fall so he could steady himself with his arms. He finally sat up straight and leaned against the wall his bed was against.

Arthur tilted his head to the side slightly, a large bruise bloomed on his cheek bone. "So I conceded." He hesitated. "Or, at least, I tried to."

Matthew's eyebrows tilted up as he listened, concerned for what he missed after Ivan knocked him out.

"Francis decided the punishment. I had to hang over the chasm railing." He said stiffly, swallowing thickly when he finished his sentence.

"For five minutes," Im Yong Soo added.

Matthew's eye was wide as he stared at Arthur. "No way, that's so dangerous! What did Gilbert say? Didn't he try and stop Francis?"

"Gilbert?" Arthur asked, his eyebrows knit in concentration. "I don't think he was there. I think he disappeared before my fight, he came back sometime later on I think." He glanced over at Im Yong Soo who nodded in agreement.

"Anyway," Arthur continued, "Francis said it was a warning to anyone who tried to concede in the future. They have to be willing to risk everything if they surrender."

Matthew bit the inside of his lip and played with the ice pack in his lap. "I'm glad you're okay, Arthur." He said quietly, not looking up.

A small smile played at Arthur's lips. "Thanks, Matthew."

Matthew looked up and gave him a shy smile back, biting his lip to hide it because he had always been self concious of his smile.

They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes. Matthew brought his hand up and touched his swollen eye, even the light brush of his fingers sent throngs of pain through his skull.

"How bad does my face look?" Matthew asked.

Im Yong Soo laughed. "On a scale of one to ten, I'd say it's a solid twelve. You look horrible, like you got attacked by a brick wall."

"Basically was," Arthur said with a small shrug. Im Yong Soo let out a loud bark of laughter.

Matthew pursed his lips and pouted, the sound of Im Yong Soo's laugh only made him press his lips tightly together to stop from smiling, but soon a small laugh escaped him and the next thing he knew, the three of them sat on his bed laughing.

"What time is it anyway?" Matthew asked, when their laughter died down.

Arthur looked at his watch. "We have almost two hours before dinner. Do you want to rest here some more?"

Matthew shook his head and tossed the sheet off himself. "I don't want to rest here, I'd rather sleep in my bunk."

"Are you sure?" Im Yong Soo asked, "Ivan might be there."

Matthew shrugged. "I'll have to deal with him sooner or later and he already knows he messed up my face."

Arthur slid off the bed and picked up the ice pack, he pressed it against his nose and groaned. "I hate Carlos, the fucking bastard. I won't be able to breath out of my nose for weeks."

"Well, look on the bright side," Im Yong Soo suggested. "Maybe you won't snore any more?"

"I do not snore!" Arthur cried, looking as though Im Yong Soo had accused him of committing a felony.

Matthew ducked his head to hide his smile as he got out of the bed. His head swam and he steadied himself with a hand on the bed.

Arthur casually slung his arm over Matthew's shoulder, helping him to stay steady. "You alright?" He asked, gripping Matthew's arm firmly. Matthew flushed at the sudden contact, unused to having someone touch him like Arthur was.

"I'm fine, just dizz-" Matthew was cut off as the Dauntless who was sitting at the desk came over.

"Are you leaving?" He asked, holding his clipboard in one arm.

"Yeah," Matthew nodded. "I'm going to go back to the bunks to rest... If that's okay?"

The man nodded his head and his long ponytail swished. "Sure, it's fine. It you have any long lasting nausea or dizziness, you should come back though. And here," He pulled a small container out of his pocket, "These are some pain killers. Take one every twelve hours as needed."

Matthew took the small container and smiled. "Thank you."

"No problem," The Dauntless man smiled. "Try and be careful. Good luck with the rest of initiation, boys."

The three of them turned and slowly made their way back to the dorm, Arthur's arm around Matthew's shoulder to help him stay steady. The waves of vertigo came and went sporadically.

They turned down the final hallway, the door to the dorm only a few meters from them, when Matthew caught sight of Gilbert approaching. He hesitated a step and Arthur tightened his grip, thinking Matthew was dizzy again.

When Gilbert saw them his eyes narrowed and he tilted his head to the side.

Im Yong Soo sprinted ahead of them and entered the dorm, hollering over his shoulder that he had to pee and couldn't keep up the granny's walking pace. Arthur laughed and Matthew gave a small half-smile, uncomfortable with the (literal) toilet talk.

Gilbert stopped in front of them. He eyed Arthur and then Matthew, taking in their bruises and swollen features.

"You both look horrible." He confirmed, crossing his arms.

Matthew looked down, his cheeks began to burn.

"It's not like it was our idea to fight." Arthur retorted.

Gilbert clenched his jaw and glared down at them. "Are you having some problems with the Dauntless initiation, Erudite?"

"No," Arthur hissed, reminding Matthew of an angry cat for a brief second. "I never said that. I just said it wasn't our idea."

Gilbert turned to Matthew. "How about you, Stiff? Want to quit yet? I'm sure if you ask real nice your old faction might take you back." Gilbert's venomous words stung and his tone clearly indicated he was not happy.

Matthew just shook his head timidly.

Gilbert rolled his eyes. "Whatever, I don't have time to play babysitter right now. Get out of my way." He snapped.

Arthur and Matthew quickly stepped aside, watching Gilbert's back until he disappeared around the corner.

"Jerk," Arthur muttered as they walked into the dorm.

"What crawled up his ass and died?" Lovino asked as they entered, he had been leaning against the wall by the door.

"I don't know," Arthur answered, moving around the room to Matthew's bunk. Lovino followed them. "But he really needs to calm down and not take it out on us."

Lovino whistled when he caught sight of Matthew. "Damn, Stiff. You have a little spot of clear skin here if you want me to bruise it for you." Lovino poked the side of Matthew's right cheek after he sat on his bed.

Matthew looked up at Arthur and Lovino who stood beside his bed. "Does it really look that bad?"

"You can't even open your eye, how do you really think it looks?" Lovino asked.

"Don't listen to them. It doesn't look that bad, Matthew." Arthur said, regarding his face. "It looks good. I mean, it looks brave. You know, very Dauntless." Arthur grinned.

Matthew laughed quietly.

Lovino stretched and groaned, rubbing his shoulder. "Fucking Im Yong Soo. Asshole nearly ripped my shoulder out of it's socket."

Matthew looked up at him with his good eye. "You guys fought?"

Lovino nodded his head. "He won. He has so much fucking energy, no matter how many times I hit him he just popped back up like a fucking demonic jack in the box."

Matthew's lips twitched. He wasn't used to being around someone who swore so much, no one he'd ever known had sworn like Lovino does.

Suddenly the exhaustion he felt earlier hit him and he yawned, his face surged with pain from the sudden movement.

"Oh, you wanted to rest right?" Arthur asked. "I'll wake you up for dinner if you want."

Matthew felt his cheeks warming up. "You don't have to."

"It's fine. I'm just going to sit around here anyway." Arthur shrugged and walked to his bed, beside Matthew's.

Matthew lay back against the firm mattress, the moment his head hit the pillow he felt the fatigue take over, slipping once again into the dark.

* * *

><p>"-thew?"<p>

Matthew tossed his head to the side, too comfortable in the warmth of his bedsheets for the noise to fully disturb him.

"Matthew?"

His eyelid fluttered and he slowly roused himself from the clutches of sleep. His left eye remained shut, though the right one opened and glanced around.

Arthur stood, slightly bent over the side of Matthew's bed. He smiled and tilted his head to the side. "Wakey wakey, snowflakey." He sang.

Matthew pulled the covers over his face to hide his small laugh. He could hear Arthur chuckling at his own joke.

Slowly Matthew pulled the covers down again and looked up at Arthur. "Dinner time?" He asked. Arthur nodded his head.

Matthew sat up with a groan, a dull ache throbbed through his body. Just as he was about to throw his legs over the side of the bed and stand up, something caught his attention.

"Did you give me another blanket?" Matthew asked, scrunching up his nose in confusion as he stared at the grey blanket that sat atop his normal white one.

Arthur raised his eyebrows and leaned closer. "Nope. I actually fell asleep for a while too. I've never seen that blanket before." He shrugged.

Matthew stared at it for a minute before glancing back at Arthur. "I should probably be more curious than I am but I honestly don't think I want to know. It was warm and I don't care about it's origins."

Arthur nodded his head. "A blankets a blanket I guess. Dinner, now? I'm starving."

Matthew got up and tried to flatten his fluffed up bed head. "Let's go. Thanks for waking me up, by the way."

"No problem." Arthur said flippantly, waving it away as though it were no big deal, he lead the way through the halls of the Dauntless compound.

Matthew heard the chatter from the dining hall long before they entered. They walked down the centre of the long room, looking for a place to sit.

"Hey!" A voice yelled from a table to Matthew's right. "Hey! Transfer!"

Matthew glanced over and saw the tanned young man who had entered the training room during his fight. He beckoned Matthew over.

Matthew raised his eyebrows and looked to his side, wondering if he was calling someone else. Arthur was no longer at Matthew's side, he caught sight of him a few tables away, taking a seat.

Matthew looked back over to the young man and bit his lip. Another beckoning signal and Matthew pointed at himself questioningly. He wondered why someone from Dauntless would want to speak with him.

The young man seemed to find Matthew's reaction amusing because while he nodded, he smiled a large, handsome grin that flashed all of his pearly white teeth and made Matthew's heart flutter, his cheeks flushed and he slowly made his way towards their table.

Matthew swallowed thickly when he reached the table. Unsure of what was going on he ran his fingers over the hem of his t-shirt, trying to calm himself down.

"Y-yeah?" He asked, instantly embarrassed by his nervous stutter.

The wide smile remained on the man's face and he waved his hand at the empty seat across from him. "Sit with me."

His voice was deep but smooth and Matthew found himself obediently sinking into the seat.

The young man cocked his head to the side and regarded Matthew with curiosity. "My name is Sadik."

Matthew shifted in his seat and looked up at Sadik through his lashes. "My-Uh, My name is Matthew." He said softly.

Apparently his answer was amusing because the wide grin on Sadik's face grew. "You're a transfer." He stated.

Matthew nodded his head, unsure if Sadik wanted an answer or not.

"I'm an initiate too." Sadik explained. "I'm Dauntless-born."

Matthew looked up at him with his eye wide. "Really?" He asked. "I thought you were older."

Sadik raised his eyebrows slightly and Matthew felt his cheeks getting warmer. "No-no offence. Not that you look old, you-you just... I thought." Matthew swallowed thickly and looked down at the table, hesitant to say that his handsome face, distinct cheek bones and the hints of stubble growing along his jaw gave off the impression of maturity.

Sadik leaned forward and tapped the table in front of Matthew, grabbing his attention again. "Don't worry about it," He hummed, "I've gotten that a lot since I started growing facial hair."

Matthew nodded lightly and they sat in silence for a few minutes, Sadik kept his eyes on Matthew, staring at his swollen eye and bruised face.

"You saw my fight." Matthew said, his voice quiet.

Sadik folded his hands under his chin. "I did."

Matthew absentmindedly rubbed his ribs through his shirt, remembering the painful kicks he received earlier.

"It was horrible to watch." Sadik said, his smile fading. "The transfer you fought reminded me of a wild animal feasting on it's prey."

Matthew bit his lip and grimaced slightly, wanting nothing more than to forget all about it.

"That's actually why I wanted to talk to you," Sadik lowered his voice and leaned closer. Matthew instinctively mimicked him and leaned forward too. "I don't mean to sound rude, but you're not a very strong fighter are you?"

Matthew gave him an embarrassed smile and shook his head. "I've never actually fought anyone until today."

Sadik nodded his head. "I figured it was something like that. I'm one of the best fighters, even before initiation. I've been training for a long time. If you want, I could teach you how to fight."

Matthew furrowed his eyebrows and looked up at Sadik, confused. "Why would you do that for me? Aren't we supposed to be competing for ranks?"

"I guess," Sadik pursed his lips. "But I don't think it's fair, the way they do it. I think everyone should have a fair chance and how can you be expected to have a fair chance against someone like that transfer today?" Sadik shook his head. "I just don't agree. That's why I want to help you."

Matthew watched Sadik smile warmly at him. "Won't we get in trouble?" He asked.

A devilish grin spread across Sadik's face and he wiggled his eyebrows. "Not if we don't get caught."

Matthew felt himself beginning to smile, already warming up to Sadik's charm. "How won't we get caught?"

"I'll meet you outside your dorm room tonight, say eleven o'clock? Try not to wake anyone up."

Matthew nodded his head, feeling excitement building up in his stomach. He had never really broken any rules back in Abnegation, so the thought of doing something that they might not be allowed to both excited and scared him.

"Oh, hey." Sadik sat back, as though they hadn't been whispering like conspirators only seconds ago, "While you're here do you want to meet a friend of mine?"

"Uh, sure." Matthew shrugged, slightly hesitant.

"Hey, Belle! Come 'ere!" Sadik cupped his mouth and called to a table a few rows away, waving his tan, muscled arm in the air.

Moments later a beautiful girl, clad in tight black leggings, an equally dark camisole and heavy boots, bounced over to the table. She had perky pale pink lips and shoulder length brown hair, a black hair band fit snugly across her head. "Whatcha want?" She asked him, her voice high and feminine, but soft with a slight edge. Her eyes were lined in dark liner.

He grinned at her and waved a hand toward Matthew. "Meet my new friend!"

The girl, Belle, turned to Matthew and raised her eyebrows at his bruised appearance. He had the small realization that he wasn't making the best first impressions today.

"You look familiar." She said, tilting her head to the side. "Wait! You have a brother, don't you? The Abnegation brothers, right?"

Matthew nodded his head. "My name is Matthew."

"I'm Belle," She said, extending a hand to shake. "It's nice to meet ya. I was so surprised when your brother just scooped you up and threw both of you over the ledge. It scared the crap outta me!" She laughed loudly, shaking her pretty head.

Matthew shook her hand and smiled as Sadik laughed along with her.

"I forgot about that," Sadik said. "That was pretty intense. Really cool."

"Wow, honey." Belle sat down at the edge of the table and examined Matthew's face. "You look like you got hit by a truck."

Matthew ducked his head slightly and nodded. "I don't, you know, usually look like this." He said, slightly embarrassed.

"Of course not, I remember your sweet face from the rooftop. All wide eyed when your brother lifted you." She laughed again when Matthew blushed and looked away.

"I've never been friends with someone from Abnegation before, so lets be friends, okay Matthew?" Belle smiled at him, her pink lips spread wide.

He returned the smile with his own silly, awkward grin.

"Okay." He agreed.

* * *

><p>"Alright, now bend your knees a bit." Sadik demonstrated, lifting his arms to protect his face. Matthew mimicked his movements and Sadik nodded. "Good! Yeah, just like that."<p>

Matthew went through the various techniques Sadik had been showing him over the past hour, his fist hit the hard surface of the punching bag over and over. The tender flesh of his hands stung with a fiery burn, the skin on his knuckles was cracked from the repeated motions.

"You've improved a lot already," Sadik said, wiping sweat from his forehead while he watched Matthew.

Matthew wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, panting slightly from their strenuous efforts. "You think so?"

"Definitely." Sadik rolled his shoulders and stood in front of Matthew. "During your fight earlier you kicked Ivan," Matthew had told him all about the other transfers when they first arrived in the training room, "And it looked pretty strong to me, so before we stop for the night I think we should work on your kicks. You seem to be able to put a lot of power behind those."

"Okay," Matthew agreed, demonstrating the kicks he knew from Gilbert's training.

"What you want to do is stand like this," Sadik stepped back, one of his left foot inches behind the other, his fists raised. "Then you you spin around and lift your leg near the end and hit your opponent with your heel." Sadik moved quickly, lifting his leg and hitting the punching bag with a loud slap. "The higher you hit the better, especially with your height. With any luck you'll end up hitting their jaw and that'll hurt a lot. It's better to use near the end of a fight or if your opponent is distracted, otherwise it might fail."

Sadik went through the motions once more, slowly, before turning back to Matthew.

"Alright, your turn."

* * *

><p>Matthew tiptoed into the dark dorm room and shut the door as quietly as possible. He quickly slipped out of his clothing and crawled into his bed, exhausted. Every muscle in his body ached and he dry-swallowed one of the painkillers the doctor had given him.<p>

He and Sadik had been training for just over two and a half hours, the better part of which Matthew had spent working on his kicks. They had been surprised to find that, for an Abnegation transfer, Matthew was surprisingly flexible, able to lift his leg high enough to nearly hit Sadik's jaw.

Matthew pulled his pillow against his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around it. He let his eye fall shut, the other still far too swollen to open regardless. Matthew wanted nothing more than to let sleep take over, but his mind reeled with what he could remember of the past few days. One thing in particular had began to bother him.

Gilbert.

Matthew flushed slightly as he thought of his instructor. He rested his head against the top of his pillow, squeezing it tightly.

Why was Gilbert nice to him one minute and then a complete jerk the next? They had only spoken to each other a handful of times, hardly ever alone. But Gilbert seemed pleasant enough when it was just them together.

Matthew remembered seeing Gilbert walking in the hallway with Elizabeta and the jubilant smile that had been on his face; his grating laugh.

His heart sped up and Matthew quickly shook his head. He needed to sleep, not think of Gilbert. He took a deep breath and felt himself relax.

He could worry about his problems tomorrow, tonight he just wanted to sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>AUTHOR'S NOTE:<strong>

Phew! What a long chapter! I'm glad we're finally getting things rolling.

Sorry if I don't write Sadik or Belle very well, I've never written them before. I always picture Sadik as this sort of mysterious, handsome man who seems really mature but actually likes to joke around and do fun things and help others, I don't know.

Belle is an initiate too, if you couldn't tell. She's also Dauntless-born.

Also, sorry if I made Arthur and Sadik seem kinda shippy with Matthew, I don't know how that happened. I just want to establish blooming friendships between them.

I want to get some more Alfred all up in here, but he's still avoiding Matthew. I'm thinking of doing another P.O.V. switch chapter soon because some interesting things are explained when Matthew isn't around. Do you guys want to see those or just wait for Matthew to figure things out on his own?

Thanks to all those who have reviewed/favourited/followed!


	8. Chapter 8: Never Ending

Matthew ran his tongue over his cracked and dry lips, watching as Lovino and Alfred circled one another in the arena. Alfred lunged forward and Lovino barely dodged in time. Francis watched with greedy eyes, taking in the scene quietly.

Matthew glanced over at Ivan and Carlos, who sat on the other side of the training room, paying no attention to the fight. Anger rose inside of him. He was angry at Ivan for beating him up, angry at Francis for not stopping the fight and angry at Alfred for not being there for him when he woke up in the infirmary.

Mostly, Matthew knew, he was angry at himself for being so weak.

"What's the point in beating each other up, anyway? I understand self defence but this is ridiculous." Matthew pursed his lips and turned to Arthur who shrugged a shoulder.

"Yesterday, after you were knocked out, Gilbert said initiation is to prepare us. Francis said it's to wear us down to see who we really are. Absolute crap either way." Matthew watched Arthur's eyes as they followed the movements in the ring, he could see the sparkle of concentration, the Erudite in Arthur's blood showing.

Matthew turned back to the fight and gave a small sigh. His entire body ached and he felt a headache brewing in the back of his skull. Getting dressed that morning had proved a hard task and had taken Matthew far longer than he had believed it would. He had been among the last initiates to make it to the training room. The only plus was that he could open both of his eyes again. The fact that a blood vessel in his left eye had burst seemed meagre to him now, though the sight of what used to be the white of his eye now a deep red startled him. But he could open it again and that was okay with him.

In the ring, Lovino shot forward and landed a solid punch against Alfred's jaw. Matthew flinched and looked down at his folded hands in his lap. He hated seeing people fight, especially his brother.

"By the way Matthew, I was going to ask you this yesterday but I forgot." Arthur turned to him, his emerald eyes lidded. A nasty bruise had bloomed across his nose and under both of his eyes. "Do you remember anything you said yesterday during or after your fight?"

Matthew cocked his head to the side and thought back to the previous day. "I don't think I said anything during the fight." He turned back to Arthur. "Why? Did I say something?"

Arthur shook his head. "No, I was just wondering."

"Huh," Matthew watched Arthur for another moment, not fully believing him.

"Come on, guys. Defense! Protect your face!" Gilbert's voice caught Matthew's attention and his gaze locked on his instructor.

Gilbert stood with his hands on his hips, watching the fight. He stood stock still beside Francis who was twisting the small ring in his eyebrow.

Gilbert's eyes suddenly locked with Matthew's and he jolted in surprise. As Gilbert held his gaze, Matthew could feel his face heating up. He wanted to look away, to hide his bruised face, but he found himself unable to tear his eyes away from Gilbert's.

The muscles in Gilbert's strong jaw twitched slightly and he tore his eyes from Matthew's, looking back to the fight.

Matthew sucked in a small breath, he hadn't even realized he'd stopped breathing until Gilbert wasn't looking at him. He didn't know what it was about him but something about Gilbert kept him from disliking him. No matter how cruel, distant or down right mean Gilbert could act towards him, he still found himself wanting their eyes to connect again, for them to stumble into one another after training.

Matthew ducked his head, letting his hair fall over his face, shielding him from the rest of the room. He wondered if that was what it was like to have a crush on someone, to have his heartbeat like crazy at the thought of them and his mind constantly going back to thoughts of them.

He bit his lip and winced, forgetting the injuries he had sustained there. He ran his tongue over the sore flesh, hoping to sooth the fiery pain.

Perhaps, he considered, he did have a crush on Gilbert. His instructor. He knew it would never go anywhere, that Gilbert didn't feel the same way about him. And Matthew thought he was almost certain Gilbert had something going on with Elizabeta. It made sense; they were always together after training, and Matthew would never forget the smiles and laughs he had seen them sharing, how handsome Gilbert had looked when he smiled for Elizabeta.

Matthew lifted his head and decided he was going to ignore his feelings, push them aside until they disappeared. He wouldn't fall for someone unattainable, someone already in a relationship. And he refused to fall for Gilbert of all people, not only was he another man, but he was also his instructor. It would be like having a crush on a teacher: completely inappropriate.

"Matthew!" A sudden shout caught his attention and he looked up to find everyone staring at him.

"P-pardon?" He stuttered out at the sudden attention, his face warming as the eyes of the other initiates pierced him.

"Time for your fight," Gilbert cocked his head to the side, "Unless you'd like to sit there for the rest of your training?"

Matthew felt his cheeks burn as he stood up, he hadn't even noticed the previous fight had ended. He was supposed to be paying attention to the fights, learning his peers weaknesses, but here he was daydreaming about Gilbert.

"Next fight, Im Yong Soo versus Matthew." Francis declared, crossing his arms over his chest. "Perhaps today Matthew will participate in some actual fighting instead of just playing the role of a punching bag."

Matthew ignored Francis, trying not to let his snarky comments bother him. He stood across from Im Yong Soo in the ring and lifted his arms. Im Yong Soo bounced from foot to foot on the spot.

"Begin!" Gilbert called. Almost instantly Im Yong Soo shot forward, fist outstretched. Matthew jolted and ducked in surprise, narrowly avoiding a blow to his already wounded eye.

A small gasp escaped Matthew's throat and he looked to Im Yong Soo with wide eyes. Im Yong Soo launched himself forward again and landed a solid hit to Matthew's ribs, the spot most affected by Ivan yesterday.

A loud moan of pain passed through Matthew's lips as he sunk to his knees, wrapping his arms around his torso. He knew what Im Yong Soo was doing, aiming for his injuries, his biggest weaknesses.

Matthew forced himself back up, he brought his arms up to protect his face and Im Yong Soo lunged forward without hesitation, as fast as light, and jabbed Matthew in the ribs again. Matthew yelped and arched his back at the searing, white hot pain that shot through his body. He shuddered and clenched his fists tighter.

If he held his arms up to protect his face, Im Yong Soo aimed for his ribs. If he protected his ribs, Im Yong Soo aimed for his face. Matthew dodged another hit aimed for his torso and took a few steps away from him. He thought back to his training with Sadik and tried to remember the advice he had been given.

Im Yong Soo moved forward again, determination present on his face and fear of the pain in his ribs acting up again forced Matthew into action. He moved quickly, hooking one of his legs around Im Yong Soo's and jerked hard, pulling his legs out from under him.

Im Yong Soo hit the arena ground hard, grunting from the sudden pain. He gave Matthew a dirty look and swiped his arm across his mouth, standing up again.

Before Im Yong Soo could lift his arms to protect himself, Matthew launched himself forward, hitting him in the ribs with his fist.

Matthew flinched as his fist connected to Im Yong Soo's ribs. He didn't like inflicting pain on others, he hated fighting but the thought of getting hurt as badly as yesterday kept him moving. He couldn't stand the thought of his already sore injures getting inflamed.

Im Yong Soo stumbled back a few feet and wrapped an arm around his torso, Matthew realized he must have gotten hurt there yesterday. He flicked his eyes over Im Yong Soo's body and located various bruises. A large, purple and black one lingered on the left side of his jaw.

While Im Yong Soo tried to collect himself, Matthew moved without thinking, his eyes shut tightly as he hoped for the best. He took a step forward, swung around and lifted his leg, bringing the heel of his foot hard into contact with Im Yong Soo's jaw. The move Sadik had taught him only hours prior.

Matthew's eyes opened just in time to witness Im Yong Soo dropping to his knees then the ground, face first. His eyes rolled back and flickered shut. A loud gasp escaped Matthew and he dropped his fists, he hurried forward, kneeling beside him.

"Im Yong Soo? Are you okay?" He gently tapped his cheek. Im Yong Soo groaned.

Matthew glanced worriedly over his shoulder to Gilbert.

"... Matthew wins." Gilbert announced, sounding just as surprised as Matthew felt. He stared at them with his eyebrows raised. Francis moved to the chalkboard and circled Matthew's name.

Slowly Im Yong Soo blinked his eyes and began to sit up.

"Are you okay?" Matthew asked again, still knelt down beside him, "I'm really sorry."

Im Yong Soo grunted and pulled away from Matthew, giving him a small glare.

"I'm sorry," Matthew said again, offering a hand to help him up. Before Im Yong Soo could react to the offered assistance, a deep voice cut in.

"What did you just say?" Matthew turned to find Gilbert staring at him with narrowed eyes, his arms crossed over his chest.

Matthew hesitated, his eyebrows turned up. "I... I said I was sorry."

"Why?" Gilbert demanded. Matthew glanced around at the other initiates. Alfred sat with Arthur, the two watching closely. Without intending to, he sent a pleading look to his brother.

"I-I just... I hurt him, so-so I apologized?" Matthew explained, confused by the sudden change in atmosphere. He didn't think he had done anything wrong.

Gilbert took a few steps toward them and Matthew could see Alfred and Arthur rising from the corner of his vision.

"Ivan hurt you yesterday far more than you hurt Im Yong Soo today and did he apologize for that?"

"N-no..." Matthew subconsciously rubbed his aching ribs, wishing everyone would stop staring at them.

"Then why," Gilbert asked as he stepped forward again, now standing directly in front of Matthew, "Do you feel the need to apologize for winning a fair fight?"

"I don't- I just..." Matthew stumbled over his words, unsure of what Gilbert wanted him to say. "I don't know..."

"Don't apologize for winning." Gilbert said firmly, staring down at Matthew.

"Sorry," Matthew said before he could stop himself. His face reddened when Gilbert narrowed his eyes and the other initiates laughed.

"I can't believe you beat me." Im Yong Soo muttered as he walked past them.

Matthew followed after him, quietly adding, "I really am sorry." He cast a small glance over his shoulder, checking to make sure Gilbert didn't hear his apology.

"Whatever." Im Yong Soo grunted.

Matthew leaned against the wall and slowly slid down to his bottom, sitting with his legs stretched out in front of him. Arthur approached him and sat quietly beside him.

After a few moments of silence Arthur turned to him. "You won your fight today." He grinned brightly at Matthew, "That's really good!"

Matthew's cheeks flushed and he nodded his head in agreement. Somehow, he didn't feel like a winner.

"And that kick was pretty impressive. I didn't see it coming, hell I didn't even know you could lift your leg that high." Arthur shook his head, laughing quietly.

"Thanks," Matthew said softly. "I just hope Im Yong Soo isn't mad at me."

Arthur snorted. "He's a sore loser, don't worry about it. He'll get over it soon enough."

"I hope so," Matthew replied, worrying the inside of his bottom lip.

* * *

><p>"Subconjunctival hemorrhage."<p>

Matthew lowered his glass and wiped the water from his upper lip. "I'm sorry, what?"

Arthur swallowed his mouthful of food and pointed to Matthew's injured eye. "Sobconjuctival hemorrhage. That's what it's called when a blood vessel in your eye bursts."

"Oh?" Matthew blinked his eye a few times before looking back to Arthur. "Will it heal on it's own?"

Arthur nodded his head. "It'll heal in a week or two, give or take a few days."

"Is it because Ivan punched me in the eye?" Matthew mused, running his fingers over the cool condensation on his glass.

"Pretty much, it occurs from various things. Sneezing or coughing too hard, excessive vomiting, trauma to the eye, etc." Arthur gave a vague wave of his hand, as though to insinuate the longer list of probable causes.

"Careful, Arthur." Lovino warned with a small sneer as he walked past them, his empty tray in his hands. "Your Erudite is showing."

Arthur made a face at Lovino, which he kindly returned.

"I can't wait for bed tonight, my back is killing me." Arthur muttered, shaking his head lightly.

Matthew gave a small nod of agreement, knowing he still had a long evening of training before he could go to sleep.

* * *

><p>Matthew tugged off his pants, groaning at the effort. It had to be well after midnight, he and Sadik had practised fighting together earlier in the evening than the previous day and by midnight Matthew had been too exhausted to continue.<p>

He climbed into bed with a sigh of relief. The moment his head hit the pillow he drifted off to sleep. The ache of his weary muscles dull from the painkillers.

* * *

><p><strong>AUTHOR'S NOTE:<strong>

This chapter isn't as long as the others and isn't as detailed. I wasn't feeling very motivated after the last post. I worked really hard on that chapter and I thought it was the best so far, but no one reviewed it! I was like, "Really?" lol But whatever. I really need to re-read this and get back on track with what was happening. The next chapter should be more interesting though, so try not to lose too much interest lol.

So Matthew has one loss and one win under his belt. I wonder how the rest of his fights will go? (Just kidding, I know how they go, but you guys don't!)


	9. Chapter 9: Hide and Seek

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

I AM SO SORRY FOR MY ABSENCE! I have no excuses other than a simple lack of motivation. I'm heinously ashamed that this fic has been taking so long to write so I'm focusing only on it for the time being! I'm now aiming to upload as much as possible as soon as possible. I'm doing my best, so please bear with me!

Okay! Small recap for people who want to refresh their mind about what's happened: Matthew chose Dauntless after Al at the choosing ceremony and since then their relationship has become rocky at best. Their instructor is Gilbert, who Matthew has realized he has conflicting feelings for. Matthew feels he doesn't belong in Dauntless at all but wants to stay with Al. The initiates are now competing to see who gets to stay in the faction because a total of five initiates will be cut by the final stage. Matthew's chances of making it are slim to none but he's trying his best but he's met some Dauntless born who appear to want to help him. They are being ranked during their current stage by how well they fight. Matthew has lost one round (boy got REKT) and won one round.

* * *

><p>The door to the dormitory was thrown open with a bang, people streamed into the room with flash lights. Heavy boots thunked against the ground thunderously, rousing the initiates from their dreams.<p>

Matthew sat up quickly, startled awake by the sudden noise. He glanced around the room, squinting through the dark to see what was going on. His mind was groggy from having just drifted off to sleep and the painkiller that was slowly making it's way through his system.

"Everybody up!" A penetrating voice demanded. A flash light moved past the speaker's face and Matthew could faintly make out the sharp features of Francis, who had a wicked smirk on his handsome face. He stood with other Dauntless members, most of which Matthew didn't recognize. A flash of silvery hair caught his attention and Matthew realized Gilbert stood at Francis' side, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Hey, Stiff! Did you get hit in the head too hard or are you just deaf?" Gilbert asked, flashing his light over to Matthew's bed. Matthew's injured eye burned at the sudden brightness and he quickly ducked his head, snapping out of his daze.

He slid out of bed, very much regretting his choice of night clothing. He stood beside his bunk, arms crossed protectively over his slim chest, while he looked up through his soft lashes at the intruders.

Gilbert's light illuminated Matthew from head to toe, the light revealing that he wore only his long Abnegation t-shirt, his legs were left completely bare.

Gilbert's gaze flicked over his form, lingering on his pale lean thighs, before once again meeting his eyes. Matthew felt his heart skip a beat and he looked down at his toes, embarrassed.

Matthew nibbled his lip, instantly regretting the action when pain echoed from the still swollen wound. He prayed no one was looking at him, but Gilbert's light was trained on him and he knew he was completely visible, lack of pants and all.

Clearly he wasn't the only one who had chosen to sleep in some less than appropriate attire because Francis spoke up again, addressing the group as a whole.

"You have five minutes to get dressed and meet us by the tracks." He flashed his light across the confused faces of the sleepy transfers. "We're going on a field trip."

Matthew blinked his bleary eyes, trying to adjust to the sudden wakefulness. Around him the others dressed quickly. He tugged on his pants and shoes, and turned toward the door, ready to leave.

A grunt of effort came from behind him and he glanced back. Lovino sat at the edge of his bed, struggling to tie his shoes. He bent forward before groaning and pulling his shoulders back in an effort to dull the ache.

Matthew recalled the other day when Lovino mentioned having to fight Im Yong Soo and how he almost popped his shoulder out of it's socket.

With a slight grimace at the memory Matthew stepped closer and knelt down in front of Lovino.

"What are you doing?" Lovino asked, glaring down at him.

"I'm helping you." Matthew said, swiftly tying the laces of his left boot. He moved to the right but Lovino jerked his foot back.

"I don't _need_ help." He snapped.

"Didn't Candor teach you not to lie?" Matthew quipped. He was irritated that Lovino couldn't just accept the assistance he needed. All he was trying to do was help him when he was in need. "If you really don't want my help I'll go."

Lovino opened and closed his mouth before giving up. He gave a small sigh of resignation. "Fine," He muttered, sticking his leg out again.

Matthew hummed to himself as he tied the other lace and stood up. "You're welcome."

"Thanks," Lovino grunted, shoving himself off the bed.

The two hurried out of the room together, following their fellow initiates down the winding hallways of the dark Dauntless compound. The faction members seemed unfazed as the bed-headed, sleepy-eyed transfers sprinted up the winding pathways toward the railway. Matthew wondered briefly, as he did his best to keep up with the others, just how many times the Dauntless saw people sprinting for their lives on a daily basis.

Matthew followed behind Carlos as they left the compound and trotted across the hard ground. A cool breeze rustled Matthew's already messy curls. A large group hovered by the train tracks, a pile of something oddly shaped was mere feet beside Francis, who stood proudly at the front of the gathering.

Matthew stared at the objects, waiting for them to come into focus. His good eye was still fending off sleep while the other ached every time he blinked. He spotted Arthur, huddled near Alfred and edged his way closer to them, being careful to stick close to the front of the group so he could still see what was going on. The Dauntless borns were a tall group.

He was caught by the arm suddenly and he turned, coming face to face with Belle. She smiled and jerked her head to the side. "Me and Sadik are over here, come stand with us!"

Matthew cast a glance back at Arthur and Alfred before allowing Belle to lead him by the wrist over to the group of Dauntless-borns.

"Are we going to be doing some target practice?" Belle asked, her eyes glinting mischievously. Matthew followed her gaze to the pile beside Francis and he squinted his good eye. Through the dark he made out a cluster of long gun barrels and trigger guards.

"They're just paint ball guns." Sadik stated, nodding his head toward a large crate of what appeared to be ammunition that had the word "PAINT-BALLS" written across the side in large writing.

"Alright, everyone!" Francis called over the chatter. "Grab a gun and a pack of paint balls!"

Belle stepped forward excitedly and tossed her hair over her shoulder. "You guys wait here, I'll grab 'em for ya!" She hurried forward, into the rush of bodies all grabbing and snatching the items.

Sadik leaned closer to Matthew and ducked his head, speaking softly. "I know we practised a bit earlier, but I never got to ask. How's your eye doing? Still bad?"

Matthew nodded his head. "Hurts pretty bad, but its fine."

"Lemme see?" Sadik gently grabbed Matthew's chin and tilted his head back. Matthew could feel the heat rushing to his face at their close proximity.

Sadik inspected his eye with a careful gaze. After a moment he whistled and shook his head. "It looks pretty nasty, Matthew. Do you have anything for it?"

"Ah, um, no. Just painkillers. Um, Arthur said it'll heal on its own in a couple of weeks." Matthew stuttered out his sentence, struggling to keep his composure while Sadik's face was so close to his own.

"Good," Sadik smiled warmly, "maybe if-"

"Hey," A voice interrupted from beside them. Matthew was mortified when he saw Gilbert standing there, his arms crossed over his chest, glaring at them. "How about instead of fondling the little transfers you go and grab a paint ball gun like you're supposed to?" Gilbert snapped.

Sadik released Matthew's chin and stood up straight. "Belle's getting them for us, Gil. And I was just looking at his eye. No fondling here." He raised his eyebrows, looking more amused than anything.

Matthew glanced between them. Sadik had referred to Gilbert as 'Gil', just as Liz often did. Did that mean they were friends? Jealousy sparked inside him and he tried to ignore it.

Gilbert grunted in response, turning and making his way back to Francis, who was staring off into the distance. Matthew followed his line of vision and saw a small circle of light growing steadily larger as it approached. His stomach dropped when he realized that _of course they would be taking the train._

Matthew glanced back to Gilbert who faced the oncoming lights of the train. The lights cast faint shadows in the hollows of his cheekbones and Matthew quickly looked away, trying not to think of how handsome Gilbert looked, even at obscure hours of the night.

Belle appeared out of nowhere, quickly draping a paint ball gun over his shoulder, letting the heavy metal rest against his back. She pressed a pack of paint balls into his pocket and hurried to do the same with Sadik.

Francis and the Dauntless members were the first people to jump onto the train. Gilbert held back with the initiates, keeping just ahead of them as they began to sprint alongside the tracks.

Matthew watched, with a mix of curiosity and fascination, as Gilbert easily pulled himself into the train car. Unlike the others who had jumped on and disappeared into the dark of the train, Gilbert turned and held his hand out, helping the next person behind him into the moving car.

Only one person was a head of Matthew and when Sadik effortlessly jumped into the darkness of the car, he was next.

And there was Gilbert's hand, pale and rough, reaching toward him. Matthew grabbed his arm, noting quickly how soft the fabric of Gilbert's dark jacket was and that even through it he could feel the taut, defined muscles.

Once inside Matthew quickly released him and hurried to stand out of the way. He leaned against the wall of the train car and nibbled his sore, cracked lip.

It took less than 30 seconds for everyone to gather inside, and as once they all were, Mathias spoke up from the shadows. Matthew grimaced when he realized two out of the three Dauntless leaders were with them, though he wasn't sure why they made him feel that way.

"Listen up, everyone! We'll be dividin' ya up into two groups to play a special version of hide-and-seek. Each team is gonna have a mix of Dauntless-born initiates and transfers. One team will get off first and hide. Then the second team will get off and seek. Hiders can shoot seekers and seekers can shoot hiders. The first team to have all of their members hit loses." His voice turned serious as he added, "This is a Dauntless tradition, so take it seriously."

Matthew felt someone brush against his shoulder and he glanced over. Alfred leaned against the small space of free wall beside him, but kept his eyes forward. A warm sense of safety and comfort began building in his chest and he pressed close to Alfred, aching for the sense of home he hadn't felt in so long.

"Who are the team leaders?" Arthur asked.

Francis stepped forward. "I will be one, and Gilbert the other."

"An' I'm the judge." Mathias grinned.

"What do we get if our team wins?" Someone called from the back, Matthew didn't recognize the voice.

"That's the kind of question someone not from Dauntless would ask," Gilbert remarked, "You get to win, obviously."

"Let's divide up the transfers first, shall we?" Francis looked at Gilbert, and placed his hands on his hips. Matthew groaned inwardly, he was always chosen last during sports related things at school and he knew it would be no different there. "You go first."

"Matthew." Gilbert said instantly, no hesitation or uncertainty in his voice. Beside him, Alfred stiffened. A chorus of snickers erupted and Matthew ducked his head, flushing both from anger at being laughed at and extreme giddiness from Gilbert choosing him first.

Francis gave him a strange look, before turning his attention back to the small crowd of initiates. "Alfred." He said, training his eyes on the two brothers leaning against one another.

Matthew tried to concentrate on Gilbert and Francis and who they were going to pick but his heart was beating so loudly he could hear his blood thumping in his ears.

Gilbert leaned back against the door frame of the car and rubbed his chin in thought. The moonlight reflected off his eyes, making them seem bright and sharp as he scanned the group. "Lovino."

Francis quirked his eyebrow but made no comment. "Ivan," He said, nodding his chin toward the biggest of the transfers.

"Arthur."

"Do you have something to prove, Gilbert?" Francis asked with a sneer, "Or are you just picking all the small ones so you have someone to blame your loss on?"

"Something like that." Gilbert said, shrugging and giving Francis a sly grin.

Francis narrowed his eyes in suspicion and brought his hand up, subconsciously rolling his small labret piercing between his thumb and index finger.

Matthew caught sight of Arthur who now had an unpleasant scowl on his face, clearly displeased with having whatever Gilbert's strategy was being based off his height, or lack there of.

Matthew knew he should be angry too, angry at Gilbert for insulting them like that but he still felt excited that he had been chosen first, or to be exact, that _Gilbert_ had chosen _him_ first.

"Carlos." Francis said, breaking Matthew's train of thought.

"Last one left is Im Yong Soo, so he's with me." Gilbert said.

Another small joy, Matthew realized, was that he didn't have to deal with Ivan or Carlos being on his team.

"Dauntless-born initiates next."

Matthew zoned out, only catching that Belle was on his team and Sadik wasn't. He watched the dark night breeze by the open train car door. He wondered exactly what time it was, he and Sadik had practised in the training room until almost midnight and he felt like he hadn't been asleep for long before the Dauntless came barging in.

Matthew tuned back in just to hear there was an odd number of initiates and Francis stood smirking and waving toward Gilbert. "You can have the last one, your scrawny team needs all the help it can get."

"Don't do me any favours, Francis." Gilbert retorted, his signature proud smirk spreading across his face. "You know I don't need them to win."

"Fine, you'll lose no matter how many people are on your team anyway." Francis snapped, "She's with me then."

Gilbert snickered slightly. "Do you want hiders or seekers?"

"I had hiders last year- if you don't recall- so my team will seek."

"Fine with me." Gilbert turned back to the group. "If I picked you for my team, we're getting off any second."

Matthew eased away from the wall as the others on Gilbert's team rose and gathered near the door. The train dipped toward the ground and they surged out. Bodies all clothed in varying shades of black (and Matthew in his grey) hit the ground, landing in various poses.

Matthew landed on his feet but had to run forward a few steps from the momentum to keep from toppling over. He bounced on his toes excitedly when he realized he had stuck a train jump landing for the first time and he felt proud at the small accomplishment.

He looked around at the others. Arthur was casually brushing his knees off and Lovino was furiously smacking dirt off his elbows, cursing under his breath.

"Where's the best place to hide?" Belle asked, tapping Gilbert's shoulder to get his attention.

"Telling you wouldn't really be in the spirit of the exercise, Belle." He responded coolly.

"There's an old business neighbourhood that way, it's basically rubble but it's probably good for hiding." Said a Dauntless-born initiate with straight blond hair. He was taller than Matthew, though just barely, and had lean muscle. His voice was flat and monotone, as though he could care less if they listened to him or not.

No one objected, Matthew because he had never been in this part of the city before. They had to cross a large, old metal bridge to get to the area, Matthew glanced over the side, at the dark water beneath it and grimaced.

There was one river that raced through the city, from one side of the fence to the other, all the other rivers and even one lake had been turned into muddy marshes. Though Matthew had never seen the lake, he still had a hard time imagining a larger body of water than what the river could hold.

"This is near Navy Pier, right?" Belle asked.

"Yup," Gilbert confirmed, "It's part of the abandoned parts of the city, across the bridge."

"Aren't we pretty close to Erudite headquarters too?" Lovino asked.

Matthew turned his eyes to Arthur and Im Yong Soo, almost in unison the two glanced over their shoulders. Their expressions were completely different. Im Yong Soo scrunched up his nose and shook his head, while Arthur, for the briefest second, had a flash of longing in his eyes. He quickly turned back to the front.

Across the bridge was a completely different world than what Matthew was used to. Almost all of the buildings behind them were in use or at least looked like they were being maintained. In front of them a sea of broken glass and crumbling concrete decorated the ground. Old abandoned buildings began appearing around them as they edged their way toward the centre of the old neighbourhood. There weren't many, maybe six that Matthew thought would be safe enough to actually enter, the rest were just crumbled stone and old metal frames.

The silence was eerie. Matthew had never heard a quiet like it. It reminded him of nightmares and he shivered. It was hard to see where they were going, it was well after midnight and all the city lights had been long turned off. All they had was the small light cast by the moon when it wasn't being shrouded by clouds.

The blond Dauntless-born initiate clicked on a flash light and shone it along the ground.

"What, you scared of the dark Lukas?" Belle teased.

"No, but if you really want to step on broken glass be my guest." The boy-Lukas, snapped. He clicked off the flash light regardless.

It hit Matthew then, the realization that there was nothing especially brave about wandering around the dark streets with no flash light, but for some reason the Dauntless would, if only to be more self sufficient. That just to prove they were strong and independent, they would make things more difficult for themselves. The Dauntless were supposed to be capable of anything.

They stopped next to one of the buildings, it's sign had been ripped off and the windows were boarded up with old wood planks. Matthew wondered what it used to be.

Gilbert turned to them, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. "The other team will come looking in ten minutes. The goal is for you to find the best possible hiding place so you can take them out before they take you out." He looked between their faces. "It's best that you take this time to formulate a strategy as a group. Mental preparedness is an aspect of your Dauntless training. Arguably, it is the most important aspect."

Belle swung her gun around and rested her finger on the guard. "I think we should all hide together, in one of the buildings close to the bridge. We can launch a full frontal paint ball attack from there and it'll be harder for them to reach all of us."

Lukas shook his head. "It's stupid for us all to be together, they could surround us and take us out all at once."

"We should try and get as high as possible and take them out from above." Added another blond Dauntless-born boy. He had a soft face and gentle features, his cheeks were rosy from the cool night air.

"You're just saying that because you've got a crazy sniper shot, Tino." Belle shook her head. "I need to be closer to my target."

"We should have people low and high," Arthur said suddenly. "It would make sense, maybe even have people on each side of the street as well."

"Do these buildings have two floors?" Lovino asked Gilbert.

He nodded his head in confirmation.

"Then there. We split up and the people who shoot the best from higher up or further away take the second floor. People who need a solid close target shoot from the lower levels."

Belle shifted. "Maybe we should have some people hang out outside and shoot from the dark shadows between the buildings?"

Matthew turned to Gilbert, stepping closer so he would hear him. "Um, do we have to stay in one place the whole time or can we move around as long as we stay out of sight?"

Gilbert's lips twitched upwards at the corners and he nodded. "Good question, Matthew. You are allowed to move around, if you aren't seen, they can't call you out or shoot you."

"Wait, what?" Arthur stepped forward. "What did Matthew ask?"

"If you can move around during all of this. As long as you stay hidden you can move around."

"I thought we had to stay in one place!" Tino bit his lip. "Well this could be good, we can have the people outside moving around and keeping a watch."

They continued back and forth, until Matthew was exhausted just from listening to their plans. They split up when Gilbert told them they had one minute before the seekers came to find them. After an argument between Belle and Arthur, they agreed on a plan of attack. There were seven initiates and a handful of older Dauntless members, so they split off separately, one initiate per each building with Belle prowling around the front lines. Tino and Lukas were both on either side of the street, shooting from the second floor windows of the first intact buildings. The rest placed themselves further and further back on the ground level, and were to move around silently and stay hidden in the small spaces between the buildings and broken walls.

Matthew leaned against the cool brick exterior of one of the farthest buildings, stifling a yawn with his hand. He stood just in the shadows, enough that he could peek around the corner and see if anyone was coming, though in all honesty he would much rather be sleeping than playing a game of glorified hide and seek. Beside him was a doorway, a side entrance to one of the stores, the boards had been pulled off but the room had looked completely empty when he had peeked inside.

He heard the sound of paint balls being shot and he wondered who was shooting, their team or Francis'? He could hear voices, laughing and yelling but still from a distance.

He toyed with the trigger of his paint ball gun, hoping that no one actually made their way this far back and that he wouldn't have to shoot it.

He could hear footsteps on the pavement, running around in the dark. He wondered if it was Belle, she had a fiery glow in her eyes when they all split up and he figured she would be a strong competitor.

Bored, tired, and completely inattentive, Matthew pulled a hand up and rubbed his eye. He wanted the game to end as quickly as possible, how long could it even really last?

Suddenly a hand clamped over his mouth from behind. Startled, Matthew dropped his gun and began clawing fiercely at the offending appendage. He was pulled back by an arm wrapping around his torso and panic welled inside his chest as he was pulled into the dark doorway of the abandoned building.

Fear gripped his heart as he wiggled and tried in vain to free his mouth. The hand was large enough that it covered part of his nose and he was beginning to have a hard time breathing.

Anxiety clouded his mind, he couldn't remember any of the fighting techniques he had been taught. His eyes stung as his airways began to constrict, burning for oxygen.

"Shhh!" The person hissed, pressing him against the inside wall. "And stop-stop struggling!"

Matthew recognized the harsh whisper at once and froze. He twisted, trying to see behind him and the person released their grip on him.

"Gilbert?" Matthew squawked.

"Shh!" Gilbert pressed tightly against Matthew, forcing him against the wall. He squirmed and tried to put some space between them before he heard voices passing by the door, where he had been standing moments ago.

"See? I told you! No one's back here, let's keep moving."

" But I could have sworn I heard something."

"Well you fucking didn't."

Matthew froze, realizing Gilbert was keeping him hidden with his dark clothing, using his jacket hood to keep his pale hair from showing. Of course, Matthew realized too late, he'd be easier to see in his gray Abnegation clothing.

They listened to the retreating steps of the other team members before Gilbert lowered his head to look into Matthew's eyes.

"Remember when Mathias said this game should be taken seriously?"

Matthew nodded numbly, unsure of whether he felt relieved it was Gilbert or more anxious now than before.

"Did you intend to just stand there and let them shoot you? Were you even paying attention?" Gilbert didn't sound like he was chastising him, rather his tone was light and almost teasing.

Matthew could feel his senses slowly coming back to him. Angry, he should be angry for being startled like that. He placed his hands on Gilbert's chest and tried to shove him away. "Why did you grab me like that? You scared the hell out of me!"

Gilbert hardly reacted to the shove, instead of stepping back he moved closer to Matthew, placing his hands on either side of Matthew's head, blocking him from escaping.

"Oooh," Gilbert smirked down at him, "Did a Stiff just swear at me? Scandalous!"

Matthew felt heat rising to his cheeks, Gilbert's face was barely inches from his own. He shifted his weight from foot to foot and turned his head away from Gilbert's, choosing instead to stare into the darkness of the room.

"What's wrong, Stiff? Don't like when I stand this close to you?" Gilbert's voice was harsh, grating. And Matthew loved it, just the sound of his husky whispers made him weak in the knees.

"Don't call me that." Matthew said sharply, turning back to Gilbert and looking him straight in the eye.

"What, a Stiff? You are one." Gilbert cocked his head to the side, his eyes held a condescending gleam.

"No I'm not." Matthew said firmly, before lowering his voice and adding, "Not any more."

Gilbert leaned closer to him, so close Matthew could feel Gilbert's warm breath against his lips. "You'll always be a Stiff."

Matthew clenched his jaw and turned his head away again, glaring at nothing. Gilbert didn't move right away, he stood watching Matthew silently before he slowly dropped his arms and took a step back.

"Game's gonna be over soon," Gilbert said, sliding his hands into his jacket pockets. "I saw Belle flailing around two paint ball guns, so I'm pretty sure she took out most of the other team by herself." He snickered, "I don't even know where she got the second gun, now that I think about it."

Matthew tried to suppress a smile, because he could perfectly imagine Belle doing just that, and glanced back at Gilbert.

"See you in a while... _Matthew_." Gilbert winked before he sauntered out the door and into the night.

Matthew stared after him, aching to follow but forbidding himself to do so.

* * *

><p>Matthew left his hideout when he saw Arthur walk past, gun slung carelessly over his shoulder.<p>

"Arthur!" Matthew chirped quietly, trying to get his attention.

Arthur tensed and turned, relaxing when he saw it was only Matthew.

"Is the game over yet?" Matthew asked, trotting to catch up with him. "I'm so tired."

"I think so, Lovino said he was heading back to the bridge because he saw Gilbert heading that way, so I came to see if I could find you... And I did. So want to head that way?" Arthur chatted casually, his eyes skirted around them, though Matthew couldn't hear or see anyone.

"Do you know which team won?"

"I believe we did, Belle's really competitive and the rest of us moved around a lot and are apparently very good hiders." Arthur raked his eyes over Matthew's body. "Plus neither of us appear to have been shot."

They walked along in silence, listening to the faint sound of chatting and the occasional shot from a paint ball gun.

There was a crowd at the bridge, a mix of the two teams though Matthew couldn't spot Alfred amongst them.

Arthur shifted his paint ball gun to his other shoulder. "I'm going to see what's up." He gestured toward Gilbert and Mathias, who stood off to the side chatting. A lit cigarette hung from Mathias's lips.

Matthew made his way over to Sadik who was leaning over the side of the metal bridge.

"Hey." He greeted quietly.

Sadik peered over his shoulder and nodded his head once in acknowledgement. "Hey."

"What's going on?" Matthew asked, stepping closer to look over the side of the bridge.

"Belle dropped her gun and it got stuck on one of the bars. She's trying to get it but I don't think she can reach."

"It's not that I can't reach!" Belle called up.

Matthew caught sight of Belle who leaned against one of the vertical metal supports, her head tossed back to yell up at them.

"What's wrong then, Belle?" Matthew asked, peering over the edge of the metal railing, trying to get a better look at her.

She pursed her lips, looking slightly disgruntled and irritated. "I can't get through the bars. My hips are too delicious to fit."

Matthew tried to suppress his grin at her choice of words. He turned when a hand grabbed his shoulder.

"What did she say was wrong?" Sadik asked, squinting.

"Oh, um," Matthew flushed, "She said... Her hips are too big to fit through the bars."

"I said 'delicious'!" Belle yelled in indignation.

"I'm not saying that!" Matthew squawked in embarrassment.

Sadik snorted and shook his head. "What should we do Belle?"

"Send down someone with small hips!" She yelled.

Sadik frowned and glanced around. "Mine are too thick, I think. Oh, Arthur! Come here!"

Arthur had already ended his conversation with Gilbert and Mathias and was on his way over. "What is it?"

Sadik tossed a thumb over his shoulder. "Belle dropped her gun and can't reach it because her hips are too wide. Think yours are small enough to fit?"

Arthur glanced over the metal railing and blanched, quickly pulling away again. He turned to Matthew and looked him up and down, his face pale. "Honestly, I think his hips are smaller, Matthew might fit better."

"Come 'ere." Sadik grunted, grabbing a hold of Arthur's hips. He squeezed briefly before turning to Matthew and grabbing his hips. He hummed in thought as he compared them.

Matthew glanced at Arthur, pale faced and large eyebrows knit in unease.

"I can try to get it?" He offered, letting his gun drop from his shoulder.

Sadik stepped back and raised his eyebrows. "Are you sure?"

Matthew nodded his head, biting his lip. "What do I do?"

Arthur grabbed Matthew's gun and eased the strap over his shoulder, letting it rest against his own.

Sadik guided Matthew to the ledge and for a brief second Matthew was reminded of the first day at the Dauntless compound, of Alfred grabbing him and jumping over the side of the building. The fear in his stomach as they plummeted into the unknown.

He shivered and tried to suppress the memory.

"Okay, see that bar there? All you gotta do it lower yourself to it. Belle can show you where to go after that."

Matthew bopped his head and swung one leg over the railing.

"And I'm right here, so don't sweat it too much, okay?" Sadik grinned, keeping his hands on Matthew's arms to help him.

"Got it." Matthew nodded, swinging his other leg over the side of the railing. He turned to face the dark water beyond and felt his stomach twist into knots at the sight.

"Okay, face me." Sadik instructed. "It's easier to climb that way."

Matthew turned back, his legs already shaking. He bit his lip hard, ignoring the stinging pain.

"You can climb down a few bars there, right below your feet. Belle, you ready?" He called.

"Yup!" She hollered back.

Matthew lowered his foot, finding the metal beam easily. Slowly and carefully he eased himself down to the next. His hands were beginning to sweat and he tightened his grip.

Sadik held his wrists firmly until finally Matthew was out of reach and he was forced to reluctantly let go. He leaned far over the side as he could, watching intently.

Matthew moved to lower himself to the next rung, but couldn't find it with his foot, he tried to glance down but all the metal bars made it hard to maneuver himself.

He felt cold, clammy hands suddenly grab a hold of his hips, just above the hem of his pants and under his shirt. He tensed in surprise.

"You have to drop the last of the way, there's no more bars to climb. It's only a foot or two of a drop." Belle said, her grip tight. She was reaching up above her head to hold him. "Don't worry, I got you."

Matthew squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. As he exhaled he released his grip and dropped.

The metal clunked loudly when he landed and they both wobbled, trying to maintain their balance.

"Okay?" Belle asked, slowly releasing his hips. "We're okay?"

Matthew nodded his head, relieved for the moment. "Yeah, we're okay."

Belle lowered herself onto her knees, the metal base they stood on was no bigger than a meter, either side. Matthew followed suit, sinking to his knees. The platform felt flimsy under them.

"See, I dropped it and it hit this-" she smacked the base they crouched on, "and bounced down there." She pointed toward the darkness on the inside of the bridge structure. A maze of huge metal girders and supports ran every which way.

Matthew caught sight of the paint ball gun, not far from where they sat. It had fallen a couple feet lower and sat resting, caught between two supports. The problem was the two thick wire tethers that crossed in front of them, blocking the way. A small triangle of space was open at the bottom and Matthew could how Belle's hips wouldn't have fit. He wondered if his would even fit.

"You see it?" Belle asked.

"Yeah, I see it." Matthew turned back to her. "I just have to squeeze through these wire things and get it?"

"Basically, you should be able to grab it from here once you get your hips between the wires. I got caught at the stomach or I could have grabbed it. Then just pass it to me and we can get back up there."

Matthew nodded his head, cautiously lowering himself onto his stomach. He took a deep breath to calm himself when he felt gusts of wind blow against his legs, which hung over the far edge of the base.

He ducked his head under the point where the tethers crossed and carefully wiggled forward, easing one shoulder through the narrow space at a time. He felt his shirt tug in the back, caught on a fray in the tether and Belle pulled it loose for him. Letting her hands rest securely on his back.

He struggled to pull his arm through, caught at the tightest point, but managed to get it free. He slid forward, shimmying and wiggling to move on his stomach. His other arm easily freed itself, stretching out. He grabbed one of the metal beams and pulled himself forward, letting the wires rest against his hips.

Matthew felt unbalanced now, with move than half of his body hanging off the base. The worst part would be leaning down, seeing the unruly darkness below, and attempting to gather the gun.

"Doin' good, Matthew." Belle murmured in encouragement.

He focused, slowly letting go of the rung in front of him in favour of one hand holding the base his lower half rested on and reaching for the paint ball gun.

The moment he began to reach for it and he realized how close he was, if he just shimmied forward a tiny bit he'd have it within grabbing distance. Without warning the entire structure let out a loud groan and the platform they sat on trembled threateningly.

Matthew and Belle let out startled cries in unison. She jumped, one hand fisting the back of his shirt tightly and the other shot out, grabbing the closest railing. Matthew screwed his eyes shut and silently prayed that his death be quick and painless.

"HEY!" A frenzied, irritated voice came from above. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING?!"

The distinct voice belonged, of course, to Gilbert, though Matthew didn't have the courage to actually look up and confirm.

"G-gun." Belle chocked out, clearing her throat before she spoke again. "I dropped my gun and we're just trying t-" The platform shivered again, dropping an inch. They both screamed in surprise. "OHMYGOD!" Belle shouted.

"Are you okay?!" Sadik yelled.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Gilbert shouted over him. "Forget the fucking gun and get your asses up here!"

With the platform slowly sinking under their combined weight, Matthew was now closer to the paint ball gun (and being disembowelled by sharp wire tethers but he tried not to focus too much on that). He quickly jerked his arm forward, straining his hand, and snatched the paint ball gun by the barrel.

He wiggled backwards, half pulled out by a frantic Belle, and shoved the gun into her hands. She slipped it over her head and one shoulder, letting it fall against her back.

They both stood up and took a step toward the bars, where it was easier to climb. The platform tipped when they stepped close to the edge and they quickly tried to balance it again, gathering together at the centre.

Belle, still clutching the back of Matthew's shirt, tossed her head back to look up at the others. Matthew worried his lip, glancing longingly at the bars. All he wanted was to be asleep, even if it was at the Dauntless compound. He hated that they had come out to play some stupid game he hadn't even participated in and he hated the stupid Dauntless traditions.

"Um..." Belle furrowed her perfectly shaped eyebrows. "Guys, we have a bit of a problem."

"What's wrong?" Sadik asked.

"Well..." Belle hesitated, glancing back to the supports. "I don't think we can climb back up. If we step on the sides of the platform it tips and we'll probably fall and die. I don't think the edges of this thing were ever bolted down or whatever!"

There was a string of curses from above and Matthew couldn't tell if it was from Sadik or Gilbert.

"Can you find another way back up?" Arthur called, his voice sounded muffled and most distant than the others.

The voices from above floated on the wind and Matthew could faintly make out the chatter from everyone above them.

"I guess we can try..." Belle muttered. "I don't really dig the idea of dying on a piece of crap rusty bridge."

Matthew tried to force a laugh at her joke but it came out as a pitiful whine. She tried to give him a reassuring smile, though it was just as forced.

Belle swivelled around, as daintily as she could, taking in the little she could see of the structure around them.

"Maybe..." She frowned and shook her head before trying a different approach. "How about... OH!" She nudged Matthew with her elbow. "Look here! There's a beam under this!"

Matthew followed her pointed finger. A long girder stretched as far as he could see from underneath the platform they stood on. Matthew realized the thin sheet of metal they stood on had been bolted only once, dead centre. Clearly it's intended purpose was not to hold people.

"We can walk along that, right?" Belle looked determined as she nodded her head excitedly. "We totally can! Look, we walk along that and get to a spot where we can climb up."

Matthew grimaced. "It goes out far over the river, though... What if we fall?"

"Better than falling the other way." She said, beckoning behind her with a thumb. "It's dirt back there. Fall on that and we're D.O.I."

"D.O.I?" He asked.

"Dead on impact." She said simply, shrugging a shoulder.

Matthew swallowed thickly. She was right, he knew she was. But he still didn't like the idea.

"Okay." He nodded. "Let's do that."

"You go first." Belle instructed. "That way I'll know where not to step if you fall."

"Belle!" Matthew squeaked.

She laughed nervously. "I'm just kidding, Matthew! Sorry, I make jokes when I shouldn't. You'll be fine."

Matthew cautiously slid his feet across the platform, too anxious to lift them in case it caused the sheet to tip. He reached the girder and stepped onto it. Carefully, with his arms out stretched for balance, he placed one foot in front of the other.

The metal sheet dropped the moment Belle stepped completely off of it. It hit numerous beams loudly before getting caught somewhere. They both flinched at the sounds.

"Guys?" Sadik called over the railing.

"We're good!" Belle yelled back, Matthew could feel her close behind him. "Trying to find a place to climb up!"

Matthew ignored their conversation, instead he focused on the steps he was taking, trying to stomp out the fear that gnawed inside his stomach.

_48... 49... 50... 51_

Matthew moved to take another step and his foot connected with nothing. He stumbled, wobbling dangerously. Belle grabbed at him, trying to steady him.

"Matthew!" The finally steadied themselves, breathing heavily. "Christ, you scared the hell outta me. What's wrong?"

"There's... Nowhere else. Nowhere else to step." Matthew warily swept his foot over the dark area before him, where the girder should have continued on. He was met with nothing but darkness. "It stops here."

Belle was quiet for a moment before she cursed loudly.

"What should we do?" Matthew asked loudly, trying to be heard over the wind that ripped through the metal beams.

"I don-"

Belle was cut off by a loud voice, almost directly above them. The deep, usually friendly tone, said one commanding word.

"Jump."

"Are you crazy?" Belle shouted.

"You're almost dead centre of the river, it's the deepest at this point. Jump an' swim to shore." Matthew knit this eyebrows trying to discern who the voice belonged to, he hated not knowing.

Belle remained quiet, her hand found it's way to Matthew's shoulder again.

"What are you guys gonna do?" Sadik called. His voice was closer than the rest. He was clearly leaning farther over the railing than could possibly be safe.

"The only thing we can do," Belle said, her voice firm, "We're gonna jump."

Matthew took a step back, bumping her with his back. The fear had finally escalated to a point he couldn't take any more. He felt sick to his stomach.

"I can't- Belle, I can't." His voice was quiet but panicked.

"Matthew? Hey, Matthew! Calm down!" Belle rubbed his back awkwardly from the angle they stood at. "It's fine now, we'll swim for it. It's better than climbing this old, rusty mess."

Matthew shook his head again. "No, Belle." He groaned, "I can't! I can't swim."

"You can't?" Belle hesitated for a half a second. "It's fine, it's fine! I'm right here. Okay? We'll jump together. I'm an amazing swimmer, I promise."

Matthew didn't respond, he stared down at the water below them. The dark sky was reflected back upon it's self. His eyes burned and he felt like he couldn't get control of his quivering limbs.

"Matthew, just hold onto me." Belle slid her hand down his arm to his hand and gripped it tightly. "Trust me, okay?"

He pressed his lips into a tight line. He didn't have much of a choice, either way.

"Okay..." He whispered.

She squeezed his hand comfortingly. "We jump on three."

He tried to swallow past the lump in his throat.

"One..."

They turned and properly faced the dark water. Belle tightened her grip and they both crouched.

"Two..."

Matthew felt like he forgot how to breath.

"THREE!" Belle shouted the last number and they both jumped forward, soaring through the air.

Matthew had the slightest sense to cover his nose and force a blast of air into his lungs as they flew.

They broke the surface of the water feet first. They plunged deep into the ice cold water. The force of the impact knocked the air from Matthew's lungs and air bubbles filled the water around them.

He registered the fact that he could still feel Belle's hand in his, but they both stayed still, muscles tense from the sudden cold.

_I don't want to die,_ Matthew thought, _I want to go back to Abnegation with Alfred and be a family again._

Suddenly they broke the surface of the water and Matthew gasped for air. Belle surged forward in the water and grabbed him. The air was filled with laughter and splashes as the other Dauntless members and initiates dove from the bridge into the water.

They clung to each other awkwardly, Belle doing her best to keep them afloat. Moments later, Matthew felt a strong arm wrap around his chest from behind. He figured it was Alfred but once he saw that the skin tone was much darker than his own he knew it wasn't. Belle released him and swept her wet hair from her face.

"Thought you were afraid of heights?" She asked, breathless but still teasingly.

"I am but I couldn't miss out on the opportunity to see you looking so ridiculous." Sadik snickered.

Matthew shivered and Sadik turned his attention to him. "Can you swim?"

Matthew shook his head.

Sadik towed both of them back to the shore, where the three of the slumped onto their backs. Matthew wanted to cry with relief.

They listened to the sounds of their own laboured breathing and the loud splashing as the Dauntless and initiates continued to jump and swim about.

Finally Sadik sat up and leaned over. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," Belle sighed, "Cold as hell but fine."

He turned to Matthew, who lay with his arms over his face, still breathing heavily. "Matthew?"

"Fine." He whispered, though his body ached and cried in agony. The sudden cold shock had caused him to tense so abruptly that his sore muscles seemed to have renewed their injuries.

"TRAIN'S GONNA BE HERE SOON! LET'S GO!" Mathias hollered from the top of the bridge. Matthew instantly knew it had been him who had instructed them to jump.

Sadik gathered himself before pulling both Belle and Matthew to their feet. They made their way back to the bridge, climbing across it slowly as they met up with the rest of the group.

Matthew was exhausted, nearly asleep on his feet. Beside him Belle was trying to shake the water out of her paint ball gun.

"Hey!" A deep voice barked at them from the edge of the bridge. Gilbert had clearly been waiting for them as he stepped into their path, blocking them from reconnecting with the group. Sadik cast a sympathetic glance back at them as he continued on.

"What the fuck was that?" Gilbert hissed. His arms crossed against his chest.

"I dropped-" Belle began, only to be cut off.

"I know _that_. Do you idiots have any clue how fucking dangerous and stupid that was?" He glared intensely at them. "And all for a _fucking paint ball gun? Are you kidding me?_"

Belle frowned. "So what? We're Dauntless. We're supposed to stuff like this all the time."

Gilbert rolled his eyes, dropping his arms before pulling his hand up and rubbing his temple. "You're not Dauntless. Not yet." He sighed, giving them a tired look. "That isn't what being Dauntless is about. Being Dauntless isn't risking your life for a _paint ball gun_. Use your fucking head, you're smarter than this."

He locked eyes with Matthew and held his gaze for a moment before turning and striding back to the other Dauntless.

"What the hell?" Belle grunted. "Being Dauntless**_ IS_** about doing crazy and daring and outrageous things."

Matthew shrugged, trying to keep the chills from getting to him. "Let's just hurry. I wanna go back to bed."

* * *

><p>As they sat in the train, everyone quiet and trying to stay awake. Matthew watched as the sky began to lighten, morning only a short time away.<p>

Gilbert turned to the initiates, who had managed to all cram into one train car together. "Be by the tracks at eight o'clock. We're going on a field trip."

Lovino groaned loudly. "Are you serious? Another one?"

"This wasn't a trip." Gilbert corrected. "This was a tradition."

Arthur leaned closer to Matthew, who was freezing in his wet clothing. "That gives us just under three hours of sleep."

"Great." Matthew mumbled.

Arthur smiled at him fondly and Matthew gave him a weak smile in return.

The train car smelt of fish oil from the paint balls, where most of them sat covered in splotches of pink, blue and green, some of the colouring washed away from jumping in the lake.

Matthew caught sight of Alfred, leaning against the opposite wall, he had a smattering of paint over the left side of his chest. His normally loud voice was quiet, hidden by the noise of the train, and Matthew couldn't hear what he was saying as he spoke to Lovino.

With a defeated sigh, Matthew rested his head on his knees and closed his eyes, considering if it was possible to sleep for three hours but still feel as though you slept for twelve.

* * *

><p><strong>AUTHOR'S NOTE: <strong>

So in the book there was a heavier importance on the actual game they play (capture the flag), while here I wanted the focus to be more on Matthew avoiding a typical Dauntless tradition and the whole jumping off the bridge bit. I get it if this chapter seems really boring, it is, I know. The next two chapters are pretty good in my opinion because we get to see some alone time between Gilbert and Matthew and then some POV changes where you get to see what happens when Mattie isn't around. And Alfred starts showing up more soon.

Anyway, if you have a twitter you can follow me on there and get updates on what I'm working on and just general nerd chat! My username is ereconn so go follow!

And most importantly I want to thank you all for your kind reviews, they keep me inspired to continue when I need to work past a hard block. Favs/follows are so appreciated too. Thank you all!


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